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Smash Knows Best: Deep South Predictions

Get ready for a little controversy, a lot of opinions, and Ray “Smash” Gillespie’s take on the Deep South! In his latest post, Ray breaks down the Top 10 Deep South teams he believes have what it takes to make an impact, shake up the standings, and make some noise. Who made the cut? Who got left off? And which teams does Smash think are poised to surprise everyone?

Monday, October 5, 2025

I SEE YOU!

Jefferson Dragons I will be completely honest with you. I expected you to finish 9th out of an 8-team district. From the get-go, I didn’t (and still don’t) understand why in the world you would have a name so close to another team in your conference. Like are you all a bunch of flunkies from a Beer League that has some kind of dragon fetish, or maybe you look up to Yoshi from the Mario Bros universe? So, the name made no damn sense to me at all.

 

Then to make matters worse, when I first look at your logo, I think I am looking at a badass looking lion that can’t decide which snake skin gang to associate with. I take a shot of fireball and realize that this is a dragon lol. (Side note, they look better in person than on the website.) The first tour stop comes, and they got a match against The Crashouts. They lose 29-11 to a team that is hyped to be pretty good so in my mind, they only got 11 because The Crashouts were not even trying.

 

So what happens next, the Team Rankings Qualifier team list comes out and we got the Jefferson Dragons coming to increase our prize fund. I appreciate donators as much as the other teams but these mofos managed to grab a cash spot. Now I know a lot of teams did not have the outcome they were wanting, but I can’t figure out how THIS team managed to start 6th in Team Rankings this season.

 

As the Deep South Team Rankings Coordinator, I put the list together and what do you know, the Jefferson Dragons are matched up against The Crashouts. Now we will all see that they are a fluke and The Crashouts will fugg them up. While we wait on the match to be scheduled, since they are planned for the first weekend, let me look at these degenerates. Chad Polley spent some time in WCS and maybe even had a title run if I am not mistaken in his High Caliber days. I remember Jerry Frazier from the registration forms. Chris Bernat must be important since he was added to the match chat. LeVar Minor must have lost a bet to end up on this team. Now that we made it to match day, I had already verified payments and was just waiting to see who won. Low and behold, Polley submits a challenge on #3. They freakin’ won!

 

To make it even crazier, I see the post for the Deep South Heavyweight Title Match and LeVar put his right foot up Wrong Foot’s ass to become the New Champ and now has a chance to win a match at Unholy to face the World Champ too! All teams are out to do what they need to do and I am becoming a fan of what this team is trying to do. Respect. So, I say all of that to say is this… Jefferson Dragons, I SEE YOU!

 

Think Smash has it right? Think he has it wrong? Comment below and let us know!

Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Deep South Top 10

  1. Complete Anarchy (1) – out strategized Body Snatchers 28-12. So, CA did what they needed to do to start the season. A lot of times, good teams are prone to lose to high handicap teams on the easy ass shots.  It sure helped that the bum CA owner didn’t bowl and the Body Snatcher owner did. CA did what they needed to do so on to the next one…    

NEXT STOP vs Carolina Gatekeepers                 (Prediction W 34-6)

                                                               

  1. Critical Roll (2) – handled Hype Cartel 30-10. As expected, they had the highest pinfall in the building but only got 30.  It is too early to overanalyze that result yet.  They got to get ready for the energy of The Crashouts.  This match will have some one “Roll” to the top of the district while some one might just “Crashout” if this match becomes lopsided, but I like it to be close.

NEXT STOP vs The Crashouts                                (Prediction W 24-16)

 

  1. The Outsiders (3) – practiced against Top Shelf Stunners 34-6. This team will handle all of the bottom feeders pretty well and won’t be tested yet. I don’t think there is enough Chaos around to slow them down this early in the season. They won’t have issues during the regular season as long as everyone gets their games in for the playoffs...

NEXT STOP vs Certified Chaos                              (Prediction W 36-4)

 

  1. The Crashouts (4) – outlasted Jefferson Dragons 29-11. So, this was the closest match in the Piedmont district. A win is a win though and it is ok to take advantage of new teams (somebody got to, right?)  Stop #2 is a huge opportunity for them to show they were not a fluke last year.  If the camera crew was around, this would be the match to watch.

NEXT STOP vs #2 Critical Roll                                (Prediction L 24-16)

                               

  1. Dirty South Legends (5) – out bowled #9 Southern Asylum 30-10. This was more lopsided that the points showed. A 400-pin win was just the Dirty South Legends showing why they are the unanimous pick to win the Metro Atlanta District.  Oh, and they got The Ones up next.  They did so bad at the 1st stop, that if this was soccer, they would be relegated to Wii Bowling.  Expect an ass-whooping here.

NEXT STOP vs The Ones                                           (Prediction W 38-2)

 

  1. Savages (6) – cruised past Upstate Gladiators 32-8. The Savages got some revenge here since UG knocked them out of the playoffs last year. Solid start that will hopefully help them extend their consecutive district title wins but Paradise Cartel is looking to take their 1st stop loss to Tri-City out on Savages.     

NEXT STOP vs Paradise Cartel                              (Prediction W 26-14)

 

  1. Wasted Potential (7) – embarrassed Chuck Town Predators 36-4! This is a better start than they had last year and they are going to need to keep getting 30+ every stop before they bowl the more established teams. They have started in 1st before but that didn’t mean anything by the end of the year. District Champs definitely make more than 2nd Now they get a team that have already exceeded their own expectations.

NEXT STOP vs Augusta Reign                               (Prediction W 34-6)

 

  1. Striking Results All-Stars (10) – out struck, and spared, Death Row 36-4. Only took an impressive win over a team like Death Row to show that they are going to be solid again regardless of their opt out moves, or lack thereof. Got a team coming up that would love to know them right back out of that #1 spot.   

NEXT STOP vs Southernlistics                              (Prediction W 30-10) 

 

  1. High Caliber (8) – not surprisingly beat Carolina Rampage 32-8. So, Carolina Rampage went and bowled pretty good in a preseason event in another conference but wasn’t much competition for High Caliber, or anyone from their conference. Must be in the wrong conference I guess.  High Caliber will have the chance to flex on Triple X as they come in off a loss to a new team. Can HC hurt the pride of Triple X for 2 stops in a row?  I say yes.

NEXT STOP vs Triple X                                                (Prediction W 30-10)

 

  1. Dragons (NR) – beat the brakes off Carolina Head Hunters 40-0. I don’t know if the Dragons were pissed that there is a Temu version of Dragons (Jefferson) in the conference now or if CHH was trying to spot everyone points to start the year but damn 40 is tough to get against anyone.  They get to go against a team next that will be fighting to get that 1st stop taste out of their mouth.  The Dragons have worn an outfit to a match before so they  are embracing the energy needed to do the damn thing this season.

NEXT STOP vs Carolina Rampage                       (Prediction W 32-8) 

Think Smash has it right? Think he has it wrong? Comment below and let us know!

Tuesday, September 08, 2026

Deep South Top 10

  1. Complete Anarchy

    – Fresh off of their 2nd Battle Bowl appearance and 2nd District Title, CA added a few more bowlers to push for another successful season. As long as they don’t let the franchise owner bowl, they should be fine. Hell taking a blind is better than letting him bowl.   

NEXT STOP vs Body Snatchers                             (Prediction W 32-8)

                                                               

  1. Critical Roll

    – Finished 6th in the Metro Atlanta district but made a strong push into, and through the playoffs, making their 1st Battle Bowl appearance. Lots of additions during opt out too but now they have more bowlers on their roster than a collegiate football team.

NEXT STOP vs Hype Cartel                                      (Prediction W 28-12)

 

  1. The Outsiders

    – Won their district and dominated a lot of franchise events last season. They didn’t finish the way they desired but stayed strong during the offseason. If not, it might be time to find another hashtag because #weoutside might not be enough.

NEXT STOP vs Certified Chaos                              (Prediction W 38-2)

 

  1. The Crashouts

    – A surprise team last year that really turned some heads and suffered their playoff loss to a team that went on to Battle Bowl. Great opt out additions as well so they should improve but they might literally “crashout” if they don’t start fast.

NEXT STOP vs Jefferson Dragons                        (Prediction W 24-16)

                               

  1. Dirty South Legends

    – Finished 2nd in their district, DSL showed they are a solid team and can beat anyone, just didn’t have things fall their way in the playoffs. Need the legends to show up if the team ever wants to become legendary.

NEXT STOP vs #9 Southern Asylum                    (Prediction W 26-14)

 

  1. Savages

    – Another District Championship (4 out of 5) for them wasn’t enough to advance in the playoffs but they will be a solid team again in the Palmetto District. Their district title defense starts against the team that knocked them out of the playoffs and if they aren’t careful, they might lose their control of the district and fall into “wild card” contention.    

NEXT STOP vs Upstate Gladiators                       (Prediction W 24-16)

 

  1. Wasted Potential

    – They have been stacking good seasons lately but ran into the Battle Bowl team that finished as the runner-up this season for the Wilder Cup. If they don’t get it together, they might as well just stay “wasted” because the “potential” might as well go to BUFU.

NEXT STOP vs Chuck Town Predators               (Prediction W 30-10)

 

  1. High Caliber

    – Did not get the finish they wanted after a strong start in their district but won the Team Rankings Championship. They will try to figure out how to win the Palmetto District and have a deep playoff run this year or they might as well just look forward to Cow Meats Pig hosting their team party 2 months early this year.

NEXT STOP vs Carolina Rampage                       (Prediction W 24-16)

 

  1. Southern Asylum

    – On paper, they have one of the toughest season openers against DSL, especially with all the new teams forming in the area. The Asylum plans to be open for the new teams.  Hopefully they are not entered into their own damn facility first.

NEXT STOP vs #5 Dirty South Legends              (Prediction L 24-16)

 

  1. Striking Results All-Stars

    – With the new teams in the Atlanta area, and opt out, SRAS will be looking to get back into the playoffs and make a run for Battle Bowl but will need to be up to the challenge. Might have to drop “All-Stars” from their name if not).

NEXT STOP vs Southernlistics                              (Prediction W 22-18) 

Think Smash has it right? Think he has it wrong? Comment below and let us know!

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3 Responses

  3. Is this for only first tour stop? Because Certified Chaos is not against The Outsiders for the first tour stop