Chasing the Gold, Part 1 (of Many)
1. By this point, all of the districts are past the halfway point of the season. Like the NCAA Tournament, we can start to figure out who is in great shape, who is in bad shape, and who is shapeless. That’s what this column will be about.
2. We’re also going to be talking MegaBowl. While all of the divisions are going to be having matches, it’s Jacob Johnson’s world title that will be up for grabs. Whoever wins the title will defend it next at Battle Bowl in August.
3. 108 teams make the playoffs this year. That’s a LOT of team, whuch just goes to show you how big the UBA is.
4. Just a reminder, this is for entertainment purposes.If you aren’t happy with where your team is graded, then bowl better. Sorry, not sorry.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Lane Crashers (250) – First Round Bye
In: Franchise / Da Hit Squad / Justus League
Possible Wild Card(s): Lightz Out / Silent Killerz / Black Reign
Got Work To Do: Lightz Out / Silent Killerz / Black Reign / Wrecking Crew
Life Support: Team Beloved / Bounty Hunters / Rhino’s Express
NOTES:: In the constantly turbulent Brooklyn/Queens district, for a team to have a potential stranglehold in a district is impressive. That’s where we are, as the Lane Crashers is up by 66 over the 5th placed team. Franchise and DHS is also in great shape, and Justice League is ok also because the teo teams directly under them have yet to take their byes. The real pursuit is for the Wild Card spots – or unless one of the top teams falter, which being that it is the Brooklyn Queens district,, I wouldn’t vote against.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Towne Assassins (188)
In: Da Royalty / #Beastmode
Possible Wild Card(s): None
Got Work To Do: KPA Kingpins / Area 51-8 / Reapers / Devilz Rejects
Life Support: KPA Latham Executioners
NOTES: The Assassins are up by 42 on the Kingpins, so they are in great shape to make the tournament for the first time. The bigger story is Area 51-8, who are seeing their dominance in the Empire district threatened. Should they miss the playoffs (and they are 42-118 in their past 4 tour stops), that would be crazy talk – but right now they are on the outside looking in. Crunch time coming up.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Release the Kraken (175)
In: Royal Flush / Project Mayhem
Possible Wild Card(s): Next Level
Got Work To Do: Next Level / Long island Insurgents / Killerz Grip / BC Crew
Life Support: Squad of Legends / Headhunters
NOTES: The Krakens are in first BUT they haven’t taken their bye yet, so they can drop from first to out. Yipes. Another yipes – BC Crew under .500. Their pedigree shows they are more than capable of getting back to the playoffs, but they have to prove it on the lane and they have had mixed results so far. No one is a lock in the Long Island district – and that’s how we like it.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: The Lane Sharks (231) – First Round Bye
In: Class aXe / City Morgue
Possible Wild Card(s): Quiet Storm / Controlled Chaos
Got Work To Do: Quiet Storm / Controlled Chaos / BOA / Royalty On Da Lanes / Harlem Knights
Life Support: Public Enemy
NOTES: This is the first district where we are seeing some teams that are virtually guaranteed to make the playoffs. The Lane Sharks are 63 points ahead of 4th (and right now, Quiet Storm are getting in as a Wild Card, so the lead is actually 77). Class aXe aren’t in the same spot because they haven’t taken their bye yet, but with a 43 point lead over third placed City Morgue, they are in good shape. As there seems to be a clear divide between the top and bottom teams, the question is can the middle teams but up on the bottom teams enough to claim the Wild Card spots?
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: MOP Nation Militia (178) – First Round Bye
In: Identity Crisis / House Shot Heros
Possible Wild Card(s): New England Heat
Got Work To Do: New England Heat / Bowl-O-Rama Express / Auburn Maulers / Reloaded
Life Support: Pound 4 Pound / Thunderstruck
NOTES: Like the Metro North, the line between have and have not has been defined. The Heat’s big and recent 40-0 win has put them into the conversation. House Shot Heros are currently in the final locked playoff spot by 5 points HOWEVER, they haven’t taken their bye yet, making that position the most calamitous one in the Atlantic Conference.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Outrage – First Round Bye
In: Mutiny / APEX Predators / Morning Woods
Possible Wild Card(s):
Killer Kegglers / Infinite Chaos / Rampage
Got Work To Do: Killer Kegglers / Infinite Chaos / NWO Wolfpack / Pin Krushers / Rampage / Lion’s Den / Vipers
Life Support: Da Stoners
NOTES: After a slow start out of the gate, Outrage has gone 170-30 in the past 5 tour stops to seal up this district – they have a 42 point lead over second and 60 point lead over fifth. Their destroying everyone means that the difference between second and out is 21 points, with almost every other team less than a tour stop back (Sorry Stoners).
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Impact – First Round Bye
In: Hot Pockets / Kryptonite / DMV Titans
Possible Wild Card(s): Body Bagz / Infamous
Got Work To Do: Body Bagz / InFamous / Boardwalk Empire / Guilt by Association / Grave Diggers / Expendables
Life Support: DMV Warriors / Lethal Injection
NOTES: This is the one district that look like all playoffs spots are a lock and everyone else is playing out the string. The difference between 4th and 5th? 56 points. Yeouch. 5th and 10th are separated by 15 points so there’s plenty of drama there,and if one team can collect a string they may be able to challenge for a Wild Card spot, but right now, that doesn’t look likely.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: DC Mafia – First Round Bye
In: Washington Replacements / High powered / River City Anarchy
Possible Wild Card(s): Str8Bizness Cartel / Dynasty
Got Work To Do: Str8Bizness Cartel / Dynasty / No Clowns Allowed / Contract Killaz / PAX Kingpins / Pull the Pin
Life Support: Framed 4 Murda / Nightmare on Lane Street / NOVA Beastmode
NOTES: DC Mafia is up by 61 over the second placed Washington Replacements and 74 against SBC (currently in 5th), so it’s close to calling them a lock. Everyone else not names DC Mafia needs to fight to keep their spot, as even the Replacements are only 13 points up on SBC. The 10th placed Pull the Pin is only 26 points out of 4th, so there’s plenty to play for in this district.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: High Voltage – First Round Bye
In: Hostile Takeover / The Risen / The Redeemed
Possible Wild Card(s): Gladiators / Twisted
Got Work To Do: Gladiators / Twisted / Demolition Crew / Fearless / Devious / The Unforgiven
Life Support: Disturbin the Peace / Hellhounds / Violators
NOTES: This one is a little tricky, because 5 of the top 7 teams still have yet to take their byes. Hostile Takeover took theirs, so they are the safest bet to be in the playoffs. high Voltage should have enough cushion to be in the playoffs after the bye – but not in first, because their lead over Hostile Takeover is a scant 2 points. As for the bottom teams – they have to produce and produce quickly, or the other teams taking byes are not going to be enough to get them where they need to be.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Da Garden Foundation (250) – First Round Bye
In: Legion of Doom / Murder Inc. / X-It Woundz
Possible Wild Card(s): The Arsenal / Total Mayhem
Got Work To Do: The Arsenal / Total Mayhem / Dysfunctional Bowlers / International Flavors / Rogue / Messenger Mafia / Da Takeover
Life Support: None
NOTES: DGF’s lead over 5th is 41 points, so while they are not really a locked team, they are in a comfortable position. As for everyone else – the last placed team is still less than 40 points away from fourth place, so a good run from any team will get them into the playoffs. Wild Cards spots will be looking very good as well – the NJ North went 8-3 against the NJ Central, so they will have some additional insurance should it get that far for certain teams.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Train Wreck (240) – First Round Bye
In: Pocket Kingz / Do It Yourself / Reaper Crew
Possible Wild Card(s): About That Money / Ocean Wave
Got Work To Do: About That Money / Ocean Wave / Goon Squad / Powerhouse / The Avengers / Dead Flush / Alter Ego
Life Support: None
NOTES: Replace DGF with Train Wreck and their 63 point lead over ATM and you see that they are in a safe place. ALl of the other teams in this ditrict have life in them, but due to them conversely going 3-8 against the NJ North, the route to the Wild Card is not nearly as good for them. Barring said NJ North teams falling apart, the only path for NJ Central is to grab out of the 4 automatic spots.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Bulletproof (250) – First Round Bye
In: AC Express / The Syndicate
Possible Wild Card(s): Nation of Domination
Got Work To Do: Lucifer’s Den / Jer-Z Outlaws
Life Support: South Jersey Storm / Weekend Warriors
NOTES: Syndicate’s 57 point lead over 5th placed Lucifer’s Den may leave this a fait acompli for the playoffs. The intruiging piece is the NOD, who hold one of the two wild card spots, but its grasp is very tenuous.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Bristol Invasion (199) -First Round Bye
In: The Chosen Ones / Hell Yeah
Possible Wild Card(s): Philly Horsemen
Got Work To Do: All In! / South Jersey Strike Force / The Coalition
Life Support: Phantoms
NOTES: Hell Yeah has 188 while the closest team to them – the Horsemen – is 40 points back. But as they only have 8 tour stops in the bank, there is an opportunity to get enough points to go after a wild card spot – not likely, but still feasible.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: X-Treme Chaos (187)
In: HIlls Have Eyes / Secret Society / Mass Destruction
Possible Wild Card(s): Usual Suspects
Got Work To Do: Milford Menace / Mid County Wood Whackers / The Kingsmen
Life Support: Showtime
NOTES: It’s weird to say Malachi Moore and Playoffs in the same sentence, but the multi-time WCS belt winner has his team poised to see July bowling. There’s plenty of time for (almost) everyone else to make their claim for the post-season (Sorry Showtime).
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Hitmen Win Everything (208) – First Round Bye
In: Outkasts / Insurgents
Possible Wild Card(s): Slayers / Immortals / Capital City Hitters
Got Work To Do: Riot Squad
Life Support: SMASH
NOTES: With the expanded format in the Southeast, a lot more teams have the opportunity to make the playoffs. There’s 7 Wild Cards in the Southeast, so there’s a chance that teams who are making their golf arrangements right now will have to delay them for at least a week – and maybe a month.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Striking Vipers (204) – First Round Bye
In: The Watchmen / Synergy
Possible Wild Card(s): Motion to Strike / Loose Cannons
Got Work To Do: Phoenix Fire
Life Support: Natural Selection / Rip Tide
NOTES: With three teams well below .500 here, there’s a good chance that there’s be 5 teams in this district to make the playoffs. The Vipers, the only team well into the 200’s, are looking very pretty to be one of said teams.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Rollin’ Rebels (195) – First Round Bye
In: High Octane G.O.A.T.
Possible Wild Card(s): Team Malice / Beast Squad
Got Work To Do: Team Malice / Beast Squad / The Disciples / The Untouchables
Life Support: Strike or Spare / Chill Squad / Total Pin Destruction
NOTES: Rollin Rebels, barring disaster, look to be a lock. High Octane and GOAT, 27 points over 4th, also look to be joining them. The real fight is going to be for the Wild Cards and which of the midpack teams can join them.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: New World Order (282) – First Round Bye
In: Conspiracy Theory / Stay Dangerous / Taking Care of Business
Possible Wild Card(s): Disorderly Conduct / Carolina Swag
Got Work To Do: Sub Zero / Rollin Thunder / Special Ops
Life Support: Mean Machine / Villains
NOTES: Both the New World Order and Conspiracy Theory have to take their byes. The NWO, 66 points over fifth, shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Not as cafe is CT, who are only up by 40. They are still in a safe happy spot – and with 6 teams over .500, they are right now looking good. Can they get more?
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: The Outsiders (197) – First Round Bye
In: Dirty South Legends / Southern Asylum / Striking Results All-Stars
Possible Wild Card(s): Southernlistics / The Crashouts / Critical Roll
Got Work To Do: Southernlistics / The Crashouts / Critical Roll / Full Throttle / Death Row / Top Shelf Stunners / Bad Intentions
Life Support: The Ones / Hype Cartel
NOTES: This is sort of a bizarre stat – four of the top five teams have already taken their bye (only the 3rd places Southern Asylum have not). Three of the bottom four teams have NOT taken their bye, which means that they are still in the bottom despite having a 40 point advantage over everyone else. Yipes. If that takes hold then the top teams will go even higher and the midteams will have an excellent shot of getting Wild Card slots.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Complete Anarchy (213) – First Round Bye
In: Wasted Potential / BUFU
Possible Wild Card(s): Chuck Town Predators / Shot Show / Carolina Gatekeepers / Body Snatchers
Got Work To Do:
Chuck Town Predators / Shot Show / Carolina Gatekeepers / Body Snatchers / Augusta Reign
Life Support: None
NOTES: Another weird stat – only two teams in this district are over .500. Said teams – Complete Anarchy and Wasted Potential – are in fantastic shape (and Complete Anarchy being a near-lock to make the playoffs). Everyone else is 156-164 or worse, which means that if it stays like this, at least one sub .500 team will make the playoffs. How many more will join them?
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: High Caliber (228) – First Round Bye
In: Paradise Cartel / Carolina Headhunters
Possible Wild Card(s):
Dragons / Savages / Carolina Rampage
Got Work To Do:
Dragons / Savages / Carolina Rampage / Upstate Gladiators / Tri-City Reapers
Life Support: None
NOTES: Though the Reapers are way back, they still have enough time to make the playoffs. Everyone can snag one of the six wild cards that are available. Which ones will? That’s another question to be answered once the smoke clears.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (272) – First Round Bye
In: King’s Court / Menace II Society / The MIlitia
Possible Wild Card(s):
Triple X / G-Town Heavy Hitters / Carolina Rollers
Got Work To Do:
Triple X / G-Town Heavy Hitters / Carolina Rollers / Natural Disaster / The M.O.B.
Life Support: 187 Inc. / Venom / In My Own World
NOTES: You know all of the other districts where there’s a piece of chaos? not this one. The Militia (4th) is 30 points over Triple X (5th) and Carolina Rollers (7th) is 27 points over Natural Disaster (8th). Them and the MOB need to make a huge stride to get into the playoffs and the bottom two teams can’t afford to lose another match,
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Mad Jokers (242)
In: Lock Down / H-Town
Possible Wild Card(s):
Jokerz Wild
Got Work To Do:
Mission Control / Deez Nuts Bowling Club / ResurrXXXtion
Life Support: Monster Ink / Texas Mafia / Angry Balls
NOTES: While the Jokers are up by 50 points in terms of a playoff spot, Lock Down and H-Town are less comfortable. Sure, they are looking okay, but the gap of 33 points is certainly surmountable Time will tell on how surmountable.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
Leader: Alamo Omens (232)
In: HIll County Outlaws / Vendetta
Possible Wild Card(s):
Collateral Damage
Got Work To Do:
Collateral Damage
Life Support: Drawing Dead / Derty Diablos / River City Gunslingers / Legendary Dynasty
NOTES: Usually, there would be plenty of time to get spots and a Wild Card, but here’s the issue – the second of the top two wild cards have 193 points – and seven of the teams in Texas North are higher then 4th placed Collateral Damage (183). So there’s lot of work to do for the bottom six teams if they are to see it in the playoffs.
NJ North Vs NJ Central – March 7
Mega Bowl – March 13-15
Pick Your Poison – March 28
Empire Double Header – March 29
