Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Will I be accurate this year? Or will I be completely off and I get yelled at? Either way, please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…
Style points count.
Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
If you’re not in the playoffs, you’re not here. Do better next season.
This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
If you came in first in a District, I put you in the top, whether I feel you deserved it or not.
There’s over 100 teams that make the playoffs. As you can see above, this is a Top 50. That means over 50 teams who make the playoffs will not be featured here and certain people on social media will whine like a little girl who lost her dog. I deal with it every year. It’s fun.
I love all feedback, so keep it coming 
So here we go with the rankings…
DC Mafia (Was 1)
Last time, I said the only thing that could stop them was the bye. I take that back – it’s the snow, which caused a postponement. That being said, they won 32-8 after the little snow sojourn.
MOP Nation Militia (Was 2)
Finally off their bye with a win PLUS second place took their bye, so the lead is 22 points. Still a logjam at the top. Of the New England District
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (Was 3)
With The Top 4 teams winning, D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. hasn’t helped the pursuers catch first place. Once March leaves, the opportunities to catch them is starting to get smaller.
The Outsiders (Was 6)
Still undefeated BUT that gets tested once they go after the Southern Asylum, who needs this one to have any semblance at first place.
Hitmen (Was 8)
They are still grumpy, so don’t disturb them. Maybe get them some cookies or chocolate candy to make them feel better. Everyone loves chocolates.
Striking Vipers (Was 10)
Boo snow….unless everyone over you loses and you get to move up because you didn’t bowl. Then…yay snow!
Rollin’ Rebels (Was 12)
The Rebels are back up here due to 1. Their win and 2. The losses by everyone else. That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but that’s what we’re getting for now.
Impact (Was 21)
Make it 129-31 for the past 4 tour stops as Impact finally makes one this season on the Top 10. Now can they stay there?
Towne Assassins (Was 15)
This win wasn’t as flashy (24-16), but as everyone drops around them, the consistence moves them up both the Empire standings and the Top 50.
Mad Jokerz (Was 19)
Going 64-16 for the past 2 tour stops (combined with everyone else munching on Fail Burgers) gets the Texas team sinto the Top Ten. Will they continue to do that?
Hill Country Outlaws (Was 20)
Not to be outdone, the Outlaws have won 5 straight tour stops to maintain first in the Texas South.
Bulletproof (Was 4)
They may still be Bulletproof, but they are no longer loss proof.
Project Mayhem (Was 31)
A nice win over Royal Flush combined with the Flushers taking their bye this weekend means that Project Mayhem has a legitimate shot at second. It could turn into first should the Krakens falter or when the Krakens take their bye.
The Chosen Ones (Was 23)
Make it 94-26 for the past 3 tour stops for The Chosen Ones, as they lsurpass the Bristol Invasion for first. Now can they hold onto it in next month’s battle against said Bristol Invasion
Class aXe (Was 6)
For Valentine’s Day they got their first loss of the season. I would have preferred a nice dinner at Cheesecake Charlie’s.
High Voltage (Was 28)
High Voltage has been shocking. 118–42 in the past four tour stops.gives them a big fat cushion (which they need because they still have to take the bye)
Mutiny (Was 7)
They went 50-30 for the past 2 tour stops but one of those was a 15-24 loss. Hence, you can say that they got their shivers a little timbered.
DMV Titans (Was 31)
This 58-22 record from the past 2 tour stops were from wins, so they get to move up. They are also up almost 60 points on fifth, so they are in a very safe position to make the playoffs.
Royal Flush (Was 33)
When taking the blind and watching everyone else around you take losses is a good way to stay second in the Long Island Division and move up a bunch of spots in the Top 50.
Murder Inc. (Was 9)
Arsenal wanted to remind Murder Inc. that every Arsenal wins begins with A. February was not Murder Season
Lane Crashers (Was 34)
Still haven’t taken the bye yet, but the string of wins (62-18 in the past 2 Tour Stops) means that they will still be in a playoff spot when they do.
Outrage (Was 47)
A 170-30 record over the past 5 tour stops gets Outrage inching closer to where they probably should have been at the beginning of the season instead of trying to make a late run now. At least they are starting to move
High Caliber (Was 11)
They have a huge chance to jump up a lot of spots come Mega Bowl, BUT the last 28-12 loss wasn’t very impressive.
Da Hit Squad (Was 35)
Back off the schneid, and with 4th place taking their bye, now has a 32 point lead over them. They are also 32 points out of first.
Xtreme Chaos (Was 14)
10s across the board is not a good look when it describes your totals for the last few tour stops. If it reaches three tour stops, then their place in the PA South – and Top 50 – could be at risk.
New World Order (Was 36)
Still In first place. However, still haven’t taken their bye and the margins over everyone else are starting to be chipped away…
Pocket Kings (Was 17)
Second place is nice. Seeing the 5 tour stop win streak is not. Seeing it going away at the hands of Reaper Crew is gross
Hot Pockets (Was 43)
150-50 for the past 5 tour stops (and winning all of them in the process) keeps them piping hot. It also keeps them in the hunt for first and the bye that would go with it.
Train Wreck (Was 25)
So they lose to a sub .500 team and knock off the third placed team. Go figure. Waiting for the real Train Wreck tram to show up.
G.O,A.T. (Was 43)
So they can’t win the Triad. Maybe the Sandhills will do? Only 11 points behind first.
Bristol Invasion (Was 24)
24-37 for the past 2 Tour Stops, which now gives The Chosen ones to move into first in the PA South. That after starting the season 5-0 in Tour Stop play. The PA North is so fickle.
Justus League (Was 38)
They got the bye and they are still in a playoff spot, so ok? I guess?
AC Express (Was 25)
The devil made them do it. ‘It’ being defined as losing 32-8 and seeing their 5 game tour stop streak go up in a rush of smoke and brimstone.
X-It Woundz (Was 44)
Took the bye. Still in a playoff spot, so it didn’t hurt them that badly
Hostile Takeover (NEW)
To make this jump in to the Top 50, they would have to go 144-16 for the past 4 tour stops (and have already taken the bye)…
The Risen (Was 26)
..and have the team that they jumped over take only 2 points. By the way, they still haven’t taken their bye yet so this drop could continue in a few months.
Hills Have Eyes (Was 29)
Wayne Porr wins the Northeast Heavyweight Title! YAY! The team goes 28-52 for the past 2 tour stops and loses first place to Secret Society in the process. Booooo.
Secret Society (Was 50)
FINALLY Secret Society has gotten their act together. 85-35 for the past 3 tour stops gets them into first, which is where they belong. Why did it take them THIS long to do so?
Menace II Society (Was 46)
Also have gotten their act together by ending a 3 Tour Stop losing skid. Their easy part of the schedule looms.
Southern Asylum (Was 32)
Going 16-44 for the past 2 Tour Stops means that the bye can’t get here soon enough. But at the rate that they are going, they may not be around in the Top 50 to appreciate it.
Conspiracy Theory (Was 37)
The real conspiracy is how taking 4 points in the last tour stop only drops you down a few spots. Oh yeah, everyone else stunk up the joint also.
Stay Dangerous (NEW)
Can’t put them over Conspiracy Theory. Yet. But if they kjeep this up, they will. Keep in mind they took their bye and the two teams over them in the standings didn’t.
Alamo Omens (Was 41)
So they are 66-54 over the past 3 tour stops BUT have lost 2 out of the past 3 – including the last one – so they have to be dinged a little. Ding.
High Powered (NEW)
It’s weird to see a team get in the Top 50 on a bye. However, the 2 teams over them also have to take their bye, which gives High Powered the inside track to move the driver’s seat in the DMV South.
City Morgue (NEW)
I’m putting respect on their name. The fact that they are in third and already took their bye doesn’t hurt.
Outkasts (Was 46)
No matches since then, so you get to stay right here.
High Octane (NEW)
Ok…so where the heck have you been
Release the Kraken (Was 48)
I’ll update them once more Long Island Scores come in.
House Shot Heros (Was 49)
They still didn’t have the bye thing. But they did have a 21-39 record over the last 2 tour stops. Not good.
Da Garden Foundation (NEW)
They get back in, but with a showing against the NJ Central, will they stay there?
NEXT 5: New England Heat, Legion of Doom, Do It Yourself, Taking Care of Business, Paradise Cartel
OUT: The Redeemed, Deez Nutz Bowling Club, BUFU, Area 51-8, Carolina Swag, Goon Squad, Reloaded
