Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 6/1/24-6/7/24

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with the rankings….

1. Hitmen (435 / 13: Capital 1st place: Was 1)
   Congratulations to the Hitmen who finish the season going 13-0 in regular season play. Now can they get to Battle Bowl?
2. New England Heat (398/ 12: NE South 1st Place Was 2)
   They also clinch – and have one tour stop to go to join the Hitmen in 13-0 undefeated tour stop land.
3. M.O.P. Nation Militia (348 / 12: New England North 1st Place: Was 3)
   You could make an argument, based on past history and the fact that they made Battle Bowl recently that they should be higher than third. I really can’t argue that point and if they didn’t take a loss during Tour Stop 5, maybe they are higher.
4. Usual Suspects (373 / 13: PA South 1st Place: Was 4)
   The Suspects also have one lonely loss early in the season, but they are your PA South champions and could geta very high seed in the playoffs.
5. JustUs League (344 / 12: Brooklyn/Queens 1st Place / Was 5)
   Grinding out the wins for the league, which results in them taking a playoff spot and are a decent win away from winning the Brooklyn Queens district.
6. High Powered (339 / 12: DMV South: 1st Place / Was 6)
   Didn’t get to play, but they’ll be playing SBC for the DMV South.
7. Absolute Chaos (338 / 12: NJ South: 1st Place / Was 7)
   Chaos does define the NJ South, but they could bring order (and a title) to Chaosland.
8. Dirty South Legendz (358/ 13: Deep South: 1st Place / Was 8)
   They could have taken it easy after winning the Deep South after the last tour stop, but they didn’t and ran over the competition. That says a lot – in a positive way – heading into July.
9. New World Order (346 / 12: Triad 1st Place: Was 9)
   Not the most impressive win, but a big one. Said victory results in a clinched playoff spot and one step closer to going back to back in the Triad.
10. Da Garden Foundation (342 / 12: NJNW 1st Place: Was 10)
    Rested last weekend. Has a chance to send a message this weekend.
11. Spartanberg Savages (318 / 13: Palmetto 1st Place: Was 11)
    They come out of the weekend scrum with the Palmetto District title. They sure made it interesting this season, didn’t they?
12. Bulletproof (332/ 12: NJ South 2nd place: Was 13)
    The match for the title is coming soon…
13. Reaper Crew (331 / 12: NJ Shore 1st place / Was 14)
    Catch them on Caffeine TV this weekend.
14. Str8 Bizness Cartel (314 / 12: DMV South: 2nd Place / Was 15)
    They have hit some tough odds before, but if they take first, that would be a nice win and some great momentum for them.
15. Impact (387 / 13: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 16)
    A humongous pounding after taking a loss is a good way to respond. Taking the DMV Central title is a nice benefit as well.
16. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (357 / 12: Queen City 1st Place: Was 17)
    Squuuuueeeeeeeeeeaaaaaked past their opponent to win a playoff spot. They need less than that to win the QC.
17. City Morgue (333 / 12: Metro 1st place: Was 19)
    I’ll give them some respect by having them move up 2 spots despite not having a match this past weekend. There. Happy?
18. Lane Crashers (332 / 12: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd Place / Was 21)
    They put themselves in the playoffs with the past win and in contention for the Brooklyn Queens title with another one.
19. Outrage (352/ 13: DMV North 1st Place: Was 23)
    Despite the odds against them, Outrage takes the DMV North. The 19th ranking in the Top 50 is WAY too low, IMO. It’s weird to say ‘Dark Horse’ to a 2-time defending championship team, isn’t it?
20. Synergy (338 / 13: Inner Coastal 1st Place: Was 41)
    A HUGE win moves them from third place to the Inner Coastal Champions. Great way to end the regular season. Nice job.
21. G-Town Heavy Hitters (336 / 12: Queen City / 2nd Place Was 25)
    This is going to be an amazing match when they go up against DILLIGAF for the Queen City. Depending on where they are seeded for the playoffs, could this be a post-season sneak preview?
22. Augusta Reign (316 / 13: Palmetto 2nd Place Was 38)
    Maybe a little bit disappointing since they were leading their district for a chunk of the season, but they did make the playoffs in second, so that’s something to be proud about.
23. Royal Flush (331 / 12: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 36)
    Small wins are better than big losses. One more small win and the Long Island District is theirs.
24. Carolina Rampage (302 / 13: Palmetto 3rd Place: Was 12)
    Sure they are in the playoffs, so it could have been a lot worse. That being said, they picked a bad week to have a bad week.
25. High Voltage (308 / 12: Virginia: 1st Place / Was 24)
    Hopefully they took the time off to recharge.
26. The Tribe (305 / 12: Metro 2nd Place: Was 26)
    Thanks to what’s been going around them, they will be in at least via Wildcard. They want more though. Maybe they’ll get it in June.
27. Smurf Nation (324 / 12: NJ South 3rd Place Was 27)
    Laaa, laaaaa, la la la laaaaa, laaaaa la la la laaaaaa…..
28. Alamo Omens (280 / 11: Texas 1st Place Was 29)
    They get one more week of love – or at least until Stay Ready plays their next match. This spot is reserved for Stay Ready once they play.
29. Striking Vipers (321 / 13: Inner Coastal 2nd place: Was 18)
    They need to be really happy about what happened at the bottom of the standings. This is a standard textbook definition of backing into the playoffs.
30. South Jersey Strike Force (304 / 12: PA North / 1st Place / Was 31)
    This week helped them in the fact that the least they can do is make the playoffs. But it would be a huge letdown if they don’t get first place.
31. Disorderly Conduct (324 / 12: Triad 2nd Place / NEW)
    Part of the reason why Disorderly Conduct has been back and forth like a yoyo is because of the Triad and how everything is THIS close. They are BACK in the Top 50 – and will stay there -because they clinched a well-deserved Playoff spot. They shall be veery dangerous to deal with in said playoffs.
32. DC Mafia (308 / 12): DMV South 3rd Place: Was 32)
    Last time out, we spoke Jeopardy. Pat Sajak is retiring this week on Wheel of Fortune. They can’t hit a Bankrupt, but they don’t want to lose a turn in the playoffs either.
33. Outkasts (355 / 13: Capital 2nd Place / Was 20)
    They had absolutely nothing to play for – and bowled like they had absolutely nothing to play for. Blech.
34. House Shot Heros (310 / 12: New England North 2nd Place: Was 46)
    Last time out, it was waiting for Mill City Mayhem. This time out, let’s make it waiting for Godot.
35. NWO Wolfpack (350 / 13: DMV North 2nd Place: Was 22)
    When you’re bowling Outrage, you need to carry the same sort of intensity you know Outrage will be bringing with them. Clearly, the Wolfpack didn’t and they paid for it. If they come out like that in the playoffs, their stint will be quite brief.
36. All In! (288 / 12: PA North 2nd Place: Was 35)
    Can they reclaim the PA North?
37. Beast Squad (309 / 13: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 33)
    Yeah, they clinched and yeah they got what they needed, BUT limping into the playoffs almost never works out for anyone. They usually say ‘Sure, Gordon, we can turn it on once the playoffs start’ and then ask for the license plate of the truck that ran them over in the first or second round.
38. BC Crew (278 / 11: Long Island / 4th Place: Was 45)
    Slides down a little bit in their district standings but are in great shape to make the playoffs. Winning one out of their next 2 matches will do just that.
39. Murder Inc. (272 / 12: NWNJ 2nd Place: Was 46)
    Also helped out royally by the NJNE. They don’t need much to clinch a spot.
40. Framed 4 Murda (303 / 12: DMV South 3rd Place: Was 47)
    They clinch a playoff spot by doing nothing. Yay!
41. Hot Pockets (337 / 13: DMV Central: 2nd: Was 29)
    Impact turned them into overheated mushy melty pockets. You know, the ones that goo up on the table that you need a spatula to scrape off.
42. Magna Carta (322 / 13: DMV Central 3rd Place: Was 43)
    But Magna Carta can’t capitalize and hence has to settle for third place in the DMV Central.
43. Secret Society (320 / 13: PA South: 2nd Was 34)
    The Society don’t win, so they settle for a tie with…
44. Rival Alliance (320 / 13: PA South: 2nd NEW)
    …the Alliance, who move back into the chart with the tie.
45. Controlled Chao$ (303/ 12: Metro 3rd Place Was 44)
    Can they cause chaos at the top of the charts?
46. The Arsenal (301/ 12: NJNE 1st Place: Was 39)
    How is a first placed team here? When you go 44-76 for the past 3 tour stops and are in danger of losing first place at the last tour stop of the season, that’s how.
47. Latino All-Stars (286/ 12: NJNE 2nd Place: NEW)
    Speaking of said team, hi there! They show up because they new Northeast Classic Tag Team Champions can add the NJNE to their repertoire.
48. Fearless (307 / 12: Virginia 2nd Place: Was 48)
    See the point totals between them and The Risen? Being next to each other seems to be the solution.
49. The Risen (302 / 12: Virginia 3rd Place: Was 44)
    Currently not rising. That changes with a win.
50. Train Wreck (298 / 12: NJ Shore / 2nd Place Was 30)
    Can they shock the world and knock off the Reaper Crew?
51. The Fallout (342 / 12: NE South: 2nd Place / Was 50)
    A nice win will get them into the playoffs. Let’s see if they can progress further than ‘thanks for making the playoffs. Here’s your ouster to a team you probably should not be losing to’.

So I have 51 teams this time around. Deal.

NEXT 5 IN: Class aXe, Release the Kraken, The Watchmen, The Disciples, The M.O.B.

OUT: Beach Brawlers, G.O.A.T.,