Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 8/12/24-10/31/24

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Will I be accurate this year? Or will I be completely off and I get yelled at? Either way, please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. There’s 88 teams that make the playoffs. As you can see above, this is a Top 50. That means 38 teams who make the playoffs will not be featured here and certain people on social media will whine like a little girl who lost her dog. I deal with it every year. It’s fun.
8. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with the rankings….
NOTES: This is after everyone has

1. Str8 Bizness Cartel (70 / 2: DMV South: 1st Place / Was 1)
   Still just as hot as they were when we left the regular season off
2. Mutiny (66 / 2 DMV North 1st Place: Was 3)
   Some people wonder, when a team has a good run – was it because they were good, or they just got lucky. Mutiny is showing they are good. For now.
3. BC Crew (98 / 3: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 6)
   Unlike other teams in the Top 50, no sluggish start here. BC Crew looking to make sure that they don’t have to worry about the end of the regular season.
4. Hitmen (30 / 1: Capital 1st place: Was 9)
   The reason why they are not in the top is that they had a bye. Usually, I don’t put teams that low in the Top 50, even if there is a bye, but come on. This is the team that has run the gauntlet twice in the regular season and I would be a moron not to put them in the Top 50 regardless of the bye or no bye. And I’m not a moron. I think.
5. Bulletproof (66/ 2: NJ South 1st place: Was 12)
   If there was any season they should have made the jump to Battle Bowl, it was last season. They have the power to get back there – they just need to remove last year’s sting out of their mind.
6. M.O.P. Nation Militia (112 / 3: New England North 2nd Place: Was 14)
   They have had their bye and are only 24 points out of first. They are looking to be dominant again and quite frankly, I don’t see who can stop them at this point.
7. Murder Inc. (70 / 2: NJ North 1st Place: Was 19)
   So they haven’t had the strongest of schedules, but they are doing what they need to do. Fun time comes on Tour Stop #3 when they go up against Arsenal.
8. The Risen (74 / 2: Virginia 1st Place: Was 21)
   Rising to a solid start so far. How far can they go this season?
9. Identity Crisis (136 / 4 New England North 1st Place: Was 28)
   While in a crisis last season, they may have found their identity early….at least until MOP shows up to put them back into crisis mode.
10. Hills Have Eyes (72 / 2: PA South 1st Place Was 31)
    Their season ended at the hands of Secret Society. The objective this year? Do well enough so they can avoid them in the playoffs altogether.
11. DMV Titans (70/2: DMV Central / 1st Place NEW)
    You want to talk about teams making a strong statement early? They did, so I’ll give them a strong position early. They can play until the other teams in the district make an attack on Titan (yes, pun completely intended).
12. Lane Crashers (100 / 3: Brooklyn/Queens / 1st Place Was 46)
    Once again, here we go with the topsy-turvy Brooklyn Queens. The Crashers have the lead, but will they keep it? We shall see….
13. Outkasts (72 / 2: Capital 1st place NEW)
    The Outkasts gave the Hitmen a run for their money last season. Can they make turn the run into a league title this season?
14. The M.O.B. (102 / 3 Queen City 1st Place NEW)
    This district is loaded, so to be on top this early in the season is impressive. Now can they fend off the mountain of teams that are chasing them?
15. Pocket Kingz (90 / 3 New Jersey Central 1st Place NEW)
    There is no question of how good of a team this is. The question was more of how good of a district the NJ Central is – until Train Wreck got to the Championship game of the Wilder Cup. This could spark a rivalry for years to come.
16. Beast Squad (82 / 3: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 47)
    This is a really good Beast Squad who, despite being in first, don’t have as many points as I expected them to have. That should change soon.
17. Quiet Storm (86 / 3: Metro 1st Place NEW)
    The good news for this team is that this hybrid of Tribe and Latino All-Stars are making a strong debut. The bad news? They get a date with City Morgue, who I’m going to be putting down very low on this list because they already took a loss. We are going to see very quickly how good the Storm is.
18. Sub-Zero (100 / 3: Triad 1st Place NEW)
    You know when Mortal Kombat had some new additions, which made it a much better game? Sub-Zero did that already. As a team who a few years ago had a mainstay in the Top 20, they are looking for a repeat performance.
19. Paradise Cartel (86 / 3 Palmetto 1st place NEW)
    If there’s any sort of topsy turvy district the Cartel can make some noise in, it’s this one. Until someone makes a move and gets to be better than 5 points over .500, they cartel could rule this district with an iron pin.
20. Area 51-8 (128 / 4: Empire 1st Place NEW)
    Borrowing from Dee-Lite – depending on how you see it, this is a team that is going to dominate their district because of their new adds, or this is a team that’s going to dominate their district because it’s a new division with new teams. We’ll see which side of the coin gets flipped in July.
21. Top Shelf Stunners (70 / 2 Deep South 1st Place NEW)
    The parade of new teams continues with the Stunners, whose play so far has been stunning. WIll they be Stone Cold or Kevin Owens lite?
22. Striking Vipers (94 / 3: Inner Coastal 1st Place NEW)
    They have floated all around the top for the past few seasons, so it’s nice to see them breakthrough, albeit temporary? Maybe, unless they show they have some bite with staying power.
23. Dragons (100 / 3 Midlands 1st Place NEW)
    I’m going to use the same thoughts here as I did with Area 51-8. This is a new district with teams that while they have made an impact in the last few years, haven’t done much recently. I know I’m going to get some hate for this, but the numbers don’t lie. Sorry, not sorry.
24. Southhampton Samurai (66 / 2 / PA North 1st place NEW)
    …..no, I have no idea how they got into first place either. Let’s just enjoy the moment for as long as this lasts.
25. Bowlorama Express (124 / 4 / NE South 1sy place NEW)
    Yes they are having a great start. HOWEVER – this is from the same conference that didn’t win a single game in the playoffs last season, so they are not getting a HUGE grain of salt here – they are getting the complete salt silo.
26. Alamo Omens (0 / 0: Central Texas 1st Place Was 33)
    They haven’t started their season yet, so I don’t know where to put them. Here is good.
27. Secret Society (56 / 2: PA South: 2nd Was 4)
    Sure they are 2-0, but once again they are off to a sloggish start so I have to drop them when other teams – even in their district – are doing better. I know I’ll be getting the ‘this is better if you use this as toilet paper’ comments from a few people. So be it.
28. Disorderly Conduct (89 / 3: Triad 2nd Place / Was 3)
    Some rumblings that I’ve heard include them picking up some pieces from other teams to make a deeper run than what they did last season. The Triad is going to be loaded.
29. Beach Brawlers (88 / 3: Coastal District 2nd Place / NEW)
    So they went to the beach and despite going 3-0, they are staring up at the leaders. Hence they get a ‘I went to the beach and all I got was this lousy Top 30 placement’ T-Shirt.
30. Dirty South Legendz (62/ 2: Deep South: 2nd Place / Was 3)
    Another team that has a great start that I can’t put up higher because there’s teams that are ahead of them in their district despite the movement from last year and going undefeated out of the gate. I’m a gonna get some hate mail. Boooo, Gordon, Booooooo.
31. Impact (64 / 2: DMV Central 3rd Place: Was 13)
    So why are you being dropped from your position last year despite being 2-0 so far? Because of that ‘Third Place’ tag next to your team name. There’s the section by the bar with all of the other 2-0 teams that are going to whine at me. I’m ready for it.
32. Da Garden Foundation (56 / 2: NJNW 1st Place: Was 37)
    They are looking to take advantage to jump over the Murder Inc. / Arsenal loser. Assuming that they win, of course.
33. DC Mafia (62 / 2): DMV South 3rd Place: Was 18)
    Averaging 31 points per tour stop is only good enough for third. Womp womp womp.
34. Synergy (80 / 3: Inner Coastal 1st Place: Was 5)
    They are eventually going to space themselves out, but right now, everything’s too crammed to really give them the ranking they should be getting. I feel you.
35. Train Wreck (82 / 3: NJ Shore / 3rd Place Was 2)
    Usually I would put the finalists up by the top, but they have done something that almost none of the other teams in front of them have done – which is take an L. Oops.
36. Washington Replacements (66 / 2: DMV South 2nd Place NEW)
    It sounds like this team may have a chip on their shoulder. Teams like that are fun! Let the hate soooooooth throuuuuuuugh youuuuuuu mwa ha ha ha ha.
37. Silent Killerz (90 / 3: Brooklyn Queens 2nd Place NEW)
    One of the UBA Classics are looking for another shot at the post-season.
38. Royal Flush (76 / 3: Long Island / 2nd Place: Was 7)
    We all know that they are going to be somewhere up near the top at the end of the season. That being said, they rook a 30-10 loss to BC Crew, so they get to start in a spot where they don’t want to start in.
39. The Arsenal (56 / 2 NJ North / 2ns Place NEW)
    This match coming up against Murder Inc is going to answer a lot of questions.
40. King’s Court (86 / 3 Queen City / 2nd Place NEW)
    The Queen City is the Brooklyn Queens of the Southeast. Lots of jumping.
41. Conspiracy Theory (80 / 3 Triad / 3rd Place Was 27)
    The Top 4 teams in the Triad have a noticeable gap between them and everyone else in the district.
42. Body Bagz (66 / 2 DMV Central NEW)
    We have an injection of new and up and coming teams into the Top 50. For now.
43. South Jersey Strike Force (66 / 2 PA North 2nd Place NEW)
    Now them you would expect to see competing in the PA North.
44. Long Island Legendz (74 / 3 : Long Island 3rd Place Was 30)
    With Long Island dominating in the playoffs last season, it wouldn’t make sense to not have a third team from that district in there (even if said third placed team doesn’t have a great record).
45. Royalty On Da Lanes (84 / 3 Metro 2nd place NEW)
    The Royalty are back on the chart. They could be making some strides against some teams, including one right under them. Who are they? I don’t remember….
46. City Morgue (82 / 3: Metro 1st place: Was 39)
    …Oh there they are. Hi there.
47. The Lion’s Den (66 / 2 DMV North 2nd Place NEW)
    The Welbons debut their team on the Top 50, though it seems strange that some team named Outrage isn’t up here yet.
48. All In! (60 / 2: PA North 3rd Place: Was 49)
    Meanwhile, here’s a team that’s been around for awhile. Once again they start in the Top 50. Can they move upwards?
49. Goon Squad (84 / 3 / NJ Central 2nd Place NEW)
    We welcome back the Goonies to the Top 50. How long can they run out their handicap teams to get the wins? And are they in the right district to make that successful?
50. Total Pin Destruction (76 / 3 Sand Hills Second Place NEW)
    Oh come on. You know I had to.

NEXT 5: About That Money, The Watchmen, DILLIGAF, Gladiators, Outrage

OUT: G-Town Heavy Hitters, X-It Woundz, Lightz Out, Killerz Grip, Latino All-Stars, Class aXe, Powerhouse, Fearless, Contract Killaz, New England Heat, JustUs League, Usual Suspects,