Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 7/13/24-8/8/24

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists last year had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. There’s 88 teams that make the playoffs. As you can see above, this is a Top 50 (I dropped it back down from 51. I’m not feeling generous anymore). That means 38 teams who make the playoffs will not be featured here and certain people on social media will whine like a little girl who lost her dog. I deal with it every year. It’s fun.
8. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with the rankings….

1. Synergy (338 / 13: Inner Coastal 1st Place: Was 7)
   Who says byes don’t help? Synergy gets to go to Battle Bowl with a very convincing win. Can they repeat the magic that they had a few years back?
2. BC Crew (350 / 13: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 8)
   Speaking of repeating the magic – this is an Old School team that is going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Can they use that energy to once again reach the promised land?
3. Disorderly Conduct (350 / 13: Triad 2nd Place / Was 12)
   Certain teams like to give me some disorderly conduct for placing them so low in the standings. While I can’t really rank them higher then, I can now. Nice job.
4. Secret Society (320 / 13: PA South: 2nd Was 16)
   I really want to see what comes out of the team’s mouth – against me – if they win the whole thing. They came THIS close a few times. Is now the time?
5. Str8 Bizness Cartel (318 / 13: DMV South: 3rd Place / Was 18)
   What SBC really meant to say is that the 36-4 loss to High Powered didn’t really matter and this is the real SBC team that showed up and disposed of High Powered this time around. Can they do that 3 more times this weekend?
6. Royal Flush (335 / 13: Long Island / 3rd Place: Was 19)
   In instead of all 4 teams meeting in the Atlantic Conference, what would have happened if we put them in different conferences? Pure dominance for Long Island this time around in the playoffs.
7. Train Wreck (330 / 13: NJ Shore / 2nd Place Was 23)
   You can say that they are still here through a technicality. That being said, they are probably, from a technical (not a technicality) standpoint the best team that’s left. If it turns into a grind fest, advantage, Train Wreck.
8. Mutiny (300 / 13 DMV North 3rd Place: Was 29)
   There’s no question that we found who this year’s Cinderella is. Thet are going to try to win more games while the opposing teams will attempt to call them an Uber.
9. Hitmen (435 / 13: Capital 1st place: Was 1)
   THIS close. Is this the maturing year they needed to make it to Delaware next season?
10. High Powered (375 / 13: DMV South: 1st Place / Was 2)
    Maybe they took SBC for granted? Maybe not, but SBC escorted them out of the building.
11. Dirty South Legendz (358/ 13: Deep South: 1st Place / Was 3)
    What they used during the regular season didn’t work against Synergy here..
12. Bulletproof (364/ 13: NJ South 1st place: Was 4)
    This loss is going to sting for awhile.
13. Impact (387 / 13: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 5)
    Like Bulletproof right above, I’m trying to figure out how Impact lost to Mutiny. Maybe got caught looking ahead?
14. M.O.P. Nation Militia (348 / 12: New England North 1st Place: Was 6)
    They got Royal Flushed.
15. New World Order (360 / 13: Triad 1st Place: Was 9)
    The first weekend featured the Triad having most amount of Southeast teams in the playoffs. Unfortunately, they all played each other the second weekend and Disorderly Conduct got the nod.
16. G-Town Heavy Hitters (358 / 13: Queen City / 2nd Place Was 10)
    The Defending Champions bowed out against the overall top seed in the Southeast. No shame in that game.
17. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (375 / 13: Queen City 1st Place: Was 11)
    Disorderly Conduct definitely didn’t L.L.T.G.A.F.
18. DC Mafia (336 / 13): DMV South 3rd Place: Was 13)
    The Mafia got Caponed by Impact, but a good season for them.
19. Murder Inc. (300 / 13: NWNJ 2nd Place: Was 14)
    They did some Murder Stinking (their words, not mine) in the first match of the second weekend.
20. X-It Woundz (281 / 13: NWNJ 3rd Place: Was 15)
    Way too inconsistent this year, which they need to shore up. This team may be the one where being put in a new district will help the most.
21. The Risen (340 / 13: Virginia 3rd Place: Was 17)
    You can’t say they didn’t have their opportunities. They just didn’t take advantage of them.
22. Lightz Out (338 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens / 3rd Place: Was 20)
    At least you could say the team that knocked them out was familiar to them.
23. Killerz Grip (336 / 13: Long Island 2nd Place Was 21)
    Much better season than last year. They just got stuck against their own district,.
24. Latino All-Stars (310/ 13: NJNE 2nd Place: Was 22)
    They were THIS close to getting the win. And now they get to see X-It Woundz during the regular season. Happy happy joy joy.
25. Class aXe (308 / 13: Metro 4th Place Was 24)
    They are the best team in the Metro in the playoffs. Unfortunately, they found out that Long Island is not in the Metro district.
26. Powerhouse (303 / 13 / NJ Shore / 4th Place: Was 25)
    Still a nice season for them. Is this season coming up the year that springboards them up the ladder?
27. Conspiracy Theory (347 / 13 Triad: 3rd Place Was 26)
    There was nothing conspirational of their definitive loss.
28. Identity Crisis (310 / 13 New England North 3rd Place: Was 27)
    The Identity worked well the first weekend. The Crisis happened the second weekend..
29. Fearless (311 / 13 Virginia 3rd Place: Was 28)
    They now have an acute case of Mutinyphobia.
30. Long Island Legendz (284 / 5th: Long Island 5th Place Was 30)
    For everyone whining about them winning because they threw a protest (which, IMO, is the correct thing to do), they lost the very next round. There. Happy?
31. Hills Have Eyes (287 / 13: PA South 5th Place Was 31)
    Their eyes were as big as saucers…until Secret Society came over and quickly duct taped them.
32. Contract Killaz (300 / 13 DMV South 5th Place: Was 32)
    No one had the Contract Killaz finishing in the top 30 in their Bingo card.
33. Alamo Omens (350 / 13: Central Texas 1st Place Was 33)
    Congratulations to the Omens, who win the first Southwest Texas Playoff Tournament. Will we see them in Battle Bowl next season?
34. New England Heat (398/ 12: NE South 1st Place Was 2)
    Season has ended.
35. JustUs League (374 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens 1st Place / Was 3)
    Season has ended.
36. Usual Suspects (373 / 13: PA South 1st Place: Was 4)
    Season has ended
37. Da Garden Foundation (374 / 13: NJNW 1st Place: Was 7)
    Season has ended
38. Spartanberg Savages (318 / 13: Palmetto 1st Place: Was 8)
    Season has ended
39. City Morgue (355 / 13: Metro 1st place: Was 10)
    Season has ended
40. Outrage (352/ 13: DMV North 1st Place: Was 13)
    Season has ended
41. High Voltage (344 / 13: Virginia: 1st Place / Was 18)
    Season has ended
42. Reaper Crew (339 / 13: NJ Shore 1st place / Was 19)
    Season has ended
43. Smurf Nation (356 / 13: NJ South 2nd Place Was 21)
    Season has ended
44. House Shot Heros (336 / 13: New England North 2nd Place: Was 25)
    Season has ended
45. Carolina Rampage (302 / 13: Palmetto 3rd Place: Was 26)
    Season has ended
46. Lane Crashers (342 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd Place / Was 27)
    Season has ended
47. Beast Squad (309 / 13: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 28)
    Season has ended
48. South Jersey Strike Force (316 / 13: PA North / 1st Place / Was 29)
    Season has ended
49. All In! (316 / 13: PA North 2nd Place: Was 30)
    Season has ended
50. Augusta Reign (316 / 13: Palmetto 2nd Place Was 32)
    Season has ended