The Bad Twins Starts up in August

Well, school is back in session, weather is being crazy, the Pre-Season Extravaganza has taken place, the Southeast Page is going wild, and September is right around the corner. So, it must mean it is time for the UBA Season to start again.

To start, big shoutout to the Champs, Str8 Bizness Cartel, for a job well done last season. But, that was last season. There has been some considerable changes with teams folding and the like. So, how will things fare in the Central Conference. I know you all have missed him, so here are my Way Too Early Top 4 Predictions for Each District of the Central Conference as well as my Tour Stop #1 Predictions for the Central Conference.

As always, if you don’t like it, I DON’T CARE. Enjoy!

So, with every District at 11 Teams or better in the Central Conference, the point systems have gone the way of the dinosaurs. The Top 4 teams in each district will get an automatic bid to the Playoffs. Here are my Way Too Early (yet probably correct) Top 4 Predictions for each District in the Central Conference.

VA

1. High Voltage
2. The Risen
3. Fearless
4. Gladiators

DMV South

1. DC Mafia
2. Str8 Bizness Cartel
3. High Powered
4. Washington Replacements

DMV Central

1. Impact
2. Hot Pockets
3. DMV Titans
4. Kryptonite

DMV North (I have excluded my Team to avoid bias, but we will finish top 3, so good luck to everyone else)

1. Outrage
2. Mutiny
3. NWO Wolfpack
4. Apex Predators

The following are my Tour Stop #1 Predictions for each Central Conference District.

VA

Tour Stop #1: Sunday, September 22, 2024 at 1PM EST at Century Lanes

BYE: Violators

Match 1: Demolition Crew vs. Disturbin Tha Peace – This is my LOCK MATCH of this Tour Stop. DTP was loud, but they were wrong a lot of last season. Demolition Crew had their ups and downs but were pretty steady. They should start this season off with a nice win. Demolition Crew wins 28 to 12.

Match 2: Fearless vs. Gladiators – This is my MUST SEE MATCH of this Tour Stop. Fearless had a great run into the Playoffs last year and fell short. Gladiators seemed poised to make a push to get into the playoffs, but were not able to get enough points. Both teams have a great balance, but Fearless has the better scratch team and more depth. Fearless wins 24 to 16.

Match 3: Hellhounds vs. High Voltage – This will be a pretty interesting match. We will see what Hellhounds have learned during the off season. However, High Voltage is simply a better roster and should be able to match whatever Hellhounds throws at them. High Voltage wins 26 to 14.

Match 4: The Redeemed vs. The Risen – The Redeemed is a new team and they get to face off against the old VA guard in The Risen. The Risen could not be pleased with their playoff exit last season and will be looking to make a statement in this opener. Will The Redeemed be able to match their energy? Not likely. The Risen wis 28 to 12.

Match 5: The Unforgiven vs. Twisted – Not sure what to expect here. Both teams had their share of highs and lows last season. However, the edge leans towards The Unforgiven who should win 24 to 16.

DMV South

Tour Stop #1: Sunday, September 29, 2024 at 12PM EST at Bowl America Woodbridge

Match 1: Contract Killaz vs. DC Mafia – This is my MUST SEE MATCH of this Tour Stop. You would be hard pressed to argue against the fact that in the Central Conference DC Mafia clearly won the off-season opt out sweepstakes. If you could throw a bowling ball well and were available to leave a team to come to the DMV South, there was a 90% chance that you came to DCM and they even got a cute slogan to go along with their great aspirations for this upcoming season. Let’s see if they can make it true. CK had a great playoff push last year and we will see if they can do it again, but this is quite a challenge to begin the year. DCM wins 26 to 14.

Match 2: Dynasty vs. Framed 4 Murda – This is another good match up to start the season. Dynasty and F4M both made the playoffs last season and their rosters are still primarily intact. F4M will not have the luxury of people not knowing what they are capable of, so they will get every team’s best this year. Dynasty will need to get off to a running start, as well. Dynasty wins this 24 to 16.

Match 3: High Powered vs. Nightmare on Lane Street – HP has had some change over, but one could argue they got a great addition in exchange for their losses. We will have to see if NLS has learned anything from their last season debacle. Either way, HP wins 32 to 8.

Match 4: No Clowns Allowed vs. NoVA Beastmode – This will be interesting based on the location. Beastmode will put up a significant battle, but NCA has the better roster. Who will make quality shots to carry the day? NCA wins 26 to 14.

Match 5: PAX Kingpins vs. Str8 Bizness Cartel – This is my LOCK MATCH of this Tour Stop. You have the UBA Champs against, well, not the champs. SBC will have all the energy and PAX will not keep up. SBC wins 36 to 4.

Match 6: The Grave Diggers vs. Washington Replacements – The battle of the new teams. Well, the teams are new but not the bowlers. TGD will have a ton of energy but WR has the superior roster. WR wins 28 to 12.

DMV Central

Tour Stop #1: Sunday, September 22, 2024 at 1PM EST at Crofton Bowl

BYE: The Expendables

Match 1: Boardwalk Empire vs. Body Bagz – This is my MUST SEE MATCH of this Tour Stop. BE and BB always have history and it is almost always a good match when they line up against one another. BE has made some additions, as well as BB, but it is the subtractions from BB that may determine the outcome of their season. Either way, BB pulls this one of, 24 to 16.

Match 2: DMV Titans vs. DMV Warriors – The battle of the new teams but not new bowlers. DMV Titans can only beat themselves here because there is no foreseeable way that the DMV Warriors pull it off, especially not at this location. DMV Titans win 30 to 10.

Match 3: Guilty By Association vs. Hot Pockets – Well, with all due respect GBA, this should not be much of a match. Hot Pockets has all of the advantages despite a lack of handicap. You all are capable of putting up a great fight here, but that scratch pair better be formidable. Hot Pockets wins 30 to 10.

Match 4: Impact vs. Infamous – This is my LOCK MATCH of this Tour Stop. Infamous has the misfortune of joining a new division and bowling one of the better teams in the Conference at one of their favorite houses. Good luck Infamous, you are going to need it. Impact wins 32 to 8.

Match 5: Kryptonite vs Lethal N’jection – LNJ’s energy is great, but Kryptonite will feed on that. This might be one of Kryptonite’s favorite houses aside from Greenway and the late Glen Burnie. LNJ better get their reps in their now if they hope to pose any feasible threat. Kryptonite wins 28 to 12.

DMV North

Tour Stop #1: Sunday, September 29, 2024 at 1PM EST at AMF Southdale

BYE: Vipers

Match 1: Apex Predators vs. Da Stoners – A very good match to start the season. We will see which teams are vested in winning and making a legitimate playoff push this year. Apex has the superior roster, so Apex wins 26 to 14.

Match 2: Infinite Chaos vs. Killer Keglers – Honestly, not sure what to expect here. IC showed signs at the end of last season, but KK loves Southdale. KK wins 26 to 14.

Match 3: Morning Woods vs. Mutiny – This is my LOCK MATCH of this Tour Stop. Morning Woods is the new team and Mutiny is the Final Four team of the entire UBA. Mutiny is riding a high and should be extra motivated to get back to Battle Bowl this season. They should have their way with Morning Woods. Mutiny wins 30 to 10.

Match 4: NWO Wolfpack vs. Outrage – This is obviously my MUST SEE MATCH of this Tour Stop. NWO vs. Outrage is always a great match and NWO has had their way with Outrage over the last few seasons. Of course, it is everyone’s “SZN” now, so we will see what that translates into. Outrage did defeat NWO at Southdale to end last season, which one could argue it was meaningless for NWO, except they lost the ability to clinch the North, if that is meaningless. Outrage wins 24 to 16.

Match 5: Pin Krushers vs. The Lion’s Den – Good Luck to PK. TLD wins by a lot and the betting window is now officially open.

Wishing everyone success in this year as long as you finish behind in points to my squad.