Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 7/6/24-7/12/24

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists last year had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. There’s 88 teams that make the playoffs. As you can see above, this is a Top 50 (I dropped it back down from 51. I’m not feeling generous anymore). That means 38 teams who make the playoffs will not be featured here and certain people on social media will whine like a little girl who lost her dog. I deal with it every year. It’s fun.
8. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with the rankings….

1. Hitmen (435 / 13: Capital 1st place: Was 1)
   They did MUCH better this season (which is get to the second weekend). Can they get to Delaware?
2. High Powered (375 / 13: DMV South: 1st Place / Was 5)
   With Outrage OUT…of the way, this is a HUGE opportunity for High Powered to get to Battle Bowl.
3. Dirty South Legendz (358/ 13: Deep South: 1st Place / Was 6)
   They will be the underdogs if they get past Synergy, but if any team is an attractive underdog, it’s this one.
4. Bulletproof (364/ 13: NJ South 1st place: Was 9)
   Just like High Powered, this is a team that has a major opportunity to take the next step, as everyone that they play will be a lower seed.
5. Impact (387 / 13: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 11)
   I get love notes (all the time) – this time from Impact, asking how they were seeded this low from me. The answer – they are a great team but they looked like they were sleep-walking for most of the season. Now that the playoffs are here, they have woken up, and the team that made it to Battle Bowl a few years ago is now back and is clearly motivated.
6. M.O.P. Nation Militia (348 / 12: New England North 1st Place: Was 13)
   If you don’t believe that every pin counts….MOP will tell you differently, as they TIED the overall wood, which got them into the second weekend. They’ve gotten to Battle Bowl before, and 2 more good matches will get them into Battle Bowl again.
7. Synergy (338 / 13: Inner Coastal 1st Place: Was 14)
   They did what they needed to do with the teams in front of them. Here come the big boys, and if they get to Battle Bowl, it will be well-deserved.
8. BC Crew (350 / 13: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 15)
   The hottest team in the UBA still needed Jeremy Milito and Joe Novara to step up – and step up they did. Now they are getting some more of their heavy hitters back from the west coast. Uh Oh.
9. New World Order (360 / 13: Triad 1st Place: Was 16)
   Is the Triad the best district in the Southeast? It seems like it, so props to Randy McWilliams.
10. G-Town Heavy Hitters (358 / 13: Queen City / 2nd Place Was 17)
    G-Town Vs. Hitmen may be the best match we are getting in the pre-Battle Bowl playoffs this season.
11. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (375 / 13: Queen City 1st Place: Was 20)
    DILLIGAF Vs. G-Town in Delaware? Not if Disorderly Conduct has anything to say about it.
12. Disorderly Conduct (350 / 13: Triad 2nd Place / Was 23)
    Speaking of which….oh, hi there!
13. DC Mafia (336 / 13): DMV South 3rd Place: Was 24)
    Impact Vs. DC Mafia will be the best Central Conference match this weekend.
14. Murder Inc. (300 / 13: NWNJ 2nd Place: Was 31)
    The only reason why they were that low and at 10-1 was they had to play a Garden Foundation team that had their number this year. Murder Inc. got them when it counted.
15. X-It Woundz (281 / 13: NWNJ 3rd Place: NEW)
    Third place out of 8 teams and them sneaking in as a 21st seed. Yeah, they are a lot better than that, but I can’t do much if they keep winning and losing instead of winning consistently. That being said, I can rank them now, and I will.
16. Secret Society (320 / 13: PA South: 2nd Was 35)
    This is another team that should have been ranked higher during the regular season but their sluggishness against teams they should have handily beaten couldn’t justify me doing so. If they can keep their starters healthy, and if Dave Adams Jr. continues his tear, they have a legit shot of getting back to Delaware.
17. The Risen (340 / 13: Virginia 3rd Place: Was 36)
    All of a sudden, the path to Delaware looks a lot clearer. Not easier, but clearer.
18. Str8 Bizness Cartel (318 / 13: DMV South: 3rd Place / Was 38)
    Last time we had this conversation, SBC got flattened like a pancake by High Powered. Here comes the rematch.
19. Royal Flush (335 / 13: Long Island / 3rd Place: Was 39)
    Robert Calabrese Vs. Joey Nereu. This one ought to be fun.
20. Lightz Out (338 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens / 3rd Place: NEW)
    They were bubbling under before the playoffs, so this is not a surprise. Neither were the wins, in which you can argue that they were the favorites in both of them. They will not be the favorites against BC Crew, but can they spring the surprise?
21. Killerz Grip (336 / 13: Long Island 2nd Place NEW)
    Another team that was poised to get into the Top 50, so also not a surprise. KG Vs. BC to get to BB? Maybe?
22. Latino All-Stars (310/ 13: NJNE 2nd Place: Was 42)
    How much do you think the All-Stars are hoping that X-It Woundz is looking ahead to Murder Inc. and forget they have a match against them to contend with?
23. Train Wreck (330 / 13: NJ Shore / 2nd Place Was 45)
    They wrecked a few other teams to get to this point.
24. Class aXe (308 / 13: Metro 4th Place Was 49)
    Certain teams, like the aforementioned X-It Woundz, are a lot better than where they finished on the regular season. Class aXe had to win just to get into the playoffs, but as they won the Metro North last season, they are the most dangerous 4th placed team still standing.
25. Powerhouse (303 / 13 / NJ Shore / 4th Place: NEW)
    Every season we talk about how Powerhouse bounces around the Top 50. They are back in again, and this time, they can be talked about on the correct side of the playoff ledger. how far can they go?
26. Conspiracy Theory (347 / 13 Triad: 3rd Place Was 50)
    The Triad has 3 teams in the playoffs. Unfortunately for them, they are all in the same bracket, so at least two of them will not be making it to Delaware. The NWO is next. Conspiracy!
27. Identity Crisis (310 / 13 New England North 3rd Place: NEW)
    Win and advance. It doesn’t matter how many of the other team’s starters were or were not there. Just win and advance, baby.
28. Fearless (311 / 13 Virginia 3rd Place: NEW)
    Still fearless in the playoffs.
29. Mutiny (300 / 13 DMV North 3rd Place: NEW)
    With all of the big names in the Central Conference, both Mutiny and Fearless may have been a little understated. One of them will be getting to the fourth round.
30. Long Island Legendz (284 / 5th: Long Island 5th Place NEW)
    Sure, there’s been a lot of social media blah blah blah blah. Credit Stephen Bennett for filing the protest and having the wear-withall to do something that not every team in that same situation did this past weekend.
31. Hills Have Eyes (287 / 13: PA South 5th Place NEW)
    They only have to beat the teams in front of them to advance, though if you see the names, they aren’t the big name teams in a bottom district that I thought could see a team sneak their way through. The big names for HHE start now.
32. Contract Killaz (300 / 13 DMV South 5th Place: NEW)
    They needed the match of their life and they got it. Can they continue to work miracles this weekend?
33. Alamo Omens (350 / 13: Central Texas 1st Place Was 20)
    Obligatory Texas team goes here. They will move up higher if they can win the post-season at Battle Bowl Texas.
34. New England Heat (398/ 12: NE South 1st Place Was 2)
    Can someone remind the team in September that booking half of their team to go to Vegas during the first 2 weekends in July is really bad for your UBA existence?
35. JustUs League (374 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens 1st Place / Was 3)
    To quote my colleague Chico Alexander, they picked a bad weekend to have a bad weekend.
36. Usual Suspects (373 / 13: PA South 1st Place: Was 4)
    We had unusual suspects in New Jersey. And hence, they were suspect.
37. Da Garden Foundation (374 / 13: NJNW 1st Place: Was 7)
    They bowled incredibly flat against Murder Inc. early, and they got Murder seasoned early and often.
38. Spartanberg Savages (318 / 13: Palmetto 1st Place: Was 8)
    Only 2 Southeast teams who won their district did not advance to the second weekend. The Savages were one of them.
39. City Morgue (355 / 13: Metro 1st place: Was 10)
    I was really nice to them during the regular season. Maybe too nice? Maybe I gave them too much respect? Should I be meaner to them next season? :O
40. Outrage (352/ 13: DMV North 1st Place: Was 13)
    You win as a team and lose as a team, but I know one usually reliable bowler for Outrage who would really like their series back.
41. High Voltage (344 / 13: Virginia: 1st Place / Was 18)
    You didn’t know what to make of High Voltage. After this weekend, you can see that they have much work to do in order to get to the next level..
42. Reaper Crew (339 / 13: NJ Shore 1st place / Was 19)
    You know all of the naysayers who said the Reapers wouldn’t get that far in the playoffs? Point to the Naysayers.
43. Smurf Nation (356 / 13: NJ South 2nd Place Was 21)
    They play much better as Underdogs. They don’t do too well when they are favorites and were supposed to win a match.
44. House Shot Heros (336 / 13: New England North 2nd Place: Was 25)
    The Legends turned the Heros into a sub, in every sense of the word.
45. Carolina Rampage (302 / 13: Palmetto 3rd Place: Was 26)
    You want to have your slumps in the Fall, not the Summer. Unfortunate timing.
46. Lane Crashers (342 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd Place / Was 27)
    When all of the spewing came out from certain members of Lane Crashers, who despite admitting they screwed up, were using the strategy of currying public opinion, which never ever works, I was trying to understand the purpose of that. Now a few days later, when I’m writing this….nope, still don’t understand the strategy here.
47. Beast Squad (309 / 13: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 28)
    I’ll leave last week’s thoughts here ‘Yeah, they clinched and yeah they got what they needed, BUT limping into the playoffs almost never works out for anyone. They usually say ‘Sure, Gordon, we can turn it on once the playoffs start’ and then ask for the license plate of the truck that ran them over in the first or second round’. I didn’t get the license plate.
48. South Jersey Strike Force (316 / 13: PA North / 1st Place / Was 29)
    They probably want that last game back, but still a great season for SJSF. Can they build on it next season?
49. All In! (316 / 13: PA North 2nd Place: Was 30)
    This team is way too talented to crash out way too many times in the first round that they have a match in the playoffs.
50. Augusta Reign (316 / 13: Palmetto 2nd Place Was 32)
    Unfortunate first round pairing for them and they paid for it.

NEXT 5 IN: Wait Until Next Year

OUT: Striking Vipers, Outkasts, Absolute Chaos, NWO Wolfpack, The Tribe, The Arsenal, The Fallout, Hot Pockets, Magna Carta, Rival Alliance