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Clinch Chart – Northeast Conference! (Updated 7/1/24)

Gordon Pepper breaks down the Northeast Conference

Hello everyone!

This is the start of the playoff breakdowns in the UBA. We are continuing with the Northeast Conference, which will be significantly easier to figure out once the NENJ plays their 12th tour stop. Just a reminder on how this works:

AUTOMATIC BIDS
NJ Northeast – Top 3
NJ Northwest – Top 3
NJ Shore – Top 4
NJ South – Top 4
PA North – Top 3
PA South – Top 4
3 Wild Cards (24 teams total)
Current Last Wild Card Point Total: 285 (Keep in mind that not every district has bowled 12 tour stops yet)

Let’s go down the New Jersey Turnpike…

NJ NORTHEAST
One of the Wild Card spots will probably be here.
The Arsenal: They take first place. Barely. But it’s still a win.
Latino All-Stars: They take second, but boy I’m sure two of their anchors would like the 10th frame of game three back.
Dysfunctional Bowlers: They get the win and do enough to both 1. take 3rd and 2. knock Rogue out of the playoff picture.
Da Takeover: They needed 36 points. They got 34 – and snuck in as a Wild Card. Congratulations to them. Everyone else: The NJ State Fair is at the American Dream Mall – for those of you who saw their dream end this past weekend.

NEW JERSEY NORTHWEST
Da Garden Foundation: Clinched the district.
Murder Inc.: They take second place.
X-It Woundz: They take enough points to grab third.
Everyone Else: If you want some great deals, check out The Mills at Jersey Gardens.

NJ SHORE
Reaper Crew: Really, and I mean REALLY tried to give first place to Train Wreck. They took advantage of a bad end of second game to get enough points to win the district.
Train Wreck: Hopefully they can use the end of game 2 to remind themselves to not let themelves get in that sort of hole in the playoffs. Second is still nice though.
Powerhouse: Whatever malaise has been plaguing them needs to be shaken off, and shaken off quickly. They fall to fourth….
Goon Squad: …because The Goonies made sure they were making the playoffs. Congratulations to the Goon Squad, who finish in third.
Everyone else: Check out Aaron Rogers in Florham Park as the NY Jets start their practices. Or at least as long as his ankles hold up.

NJ SOUTH
Bulletproof: A huge win for Bulletproof gives them the district and keys them up nicely for the playoffs. Is another deep run in their future?
Smurf Nation: They won’t sneak away with the district, but a nice win for them gets them second place.
Absolute Chaos: Sure they are heading into the playoffs in third, but they were heading into the last match in first. Oooooouuuuuuuuuch.
AC Express: Despite struggling down the stretch, a big 30-10 win gives them the last guaranteed playoff spot in the NJ South. Can they be this season’s dark horse?
On a Mission: 286 is juuuuuuusssssssst enough to get in. By 1 point over the Storm. WHEW! to them and OUCH to the Storm.
Everyone Else: We all know about Atlantic City, but check out the miniature golf courses in Egg Harbor Township. Those are fun to play.

PA NORTH
South Jersey Strike Force: They win the district. More importantly, they can stop hounding me on why I don’t give them credit or put them in the Top 50 (You’re in).
ALL IN!: They win the match and lose the district on a tie-breaker. However, they can use this as a springboard to make some noise in the playoffs.
Philly Horsemen: The 38-2 demolishing of Hell Yeah! gives the Horsemen the last playoff spot, and concurrently plunges Hell Yeah! from third to 6th.
Everyone Else: The Philadelphia Phillies have the best record in baseball. They should be fun to grab a game or two, eat some cracker jacks and get a few frosties.

PA SOUTH
Usual Suspects: WINNAH! Trust the process.
Secret Society / Rival Alliance: They finish in a tie for second / third, which is pretty swanky. Who gets the bye? Heh.
Mid-County Wood Wackers: Despite the loss, they did JUST enough to get into the post-season. Nice season for them.
Hills Have Eyes: Is 287 enough? It is by 1 point, so they get bonus bowling in July.
Everyone Else: Parx Casino is on the West Side of Philly, if you want to wager on what teams will make the playoffs in the PA South.

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