Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 5/12/24-5/31/24

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with the rankings….

1. Hitmen (407 / 12: Capital 1st place: Was 1)
   There’s only a handful of teams that have clinched their district title. You would think that an undefeated team would be one of them and you’d be right. This Hitmen squad has been steamrolling through everyone this season. They would be looking to break their own record set for greatest amount of points.
2. New England Heat (368/ 11: NE South 1st Place Was 2)
   Another perfect season is in the works, but they haven’t clinched – partly because they have only played 11 matches. This changes during the first weekend of June should they not royally screw the pooch.
3. M.O.P. Nation Militia (348 / 12: New England North 1st Place: Was 4)
   7 points gets them the NE North title against a House Shot Heros club that they already beat 28-12 during the regular season. Regardless, the playoffs await, as they have clinched a spot.
4. Usual Suspects (343 / 12: PA South 1st Place: Was 5)
   They got the big win that they needed this past tour stop but they didn’t get Secret Society to lose. Still, they only need 3 points against them to wrap up the PA South, but wouldn’t it be more fun to send a message to everyone else in the postseason? Of course it would.
5. JustUs League (322 / 11: Brooklyn/Queens 1st Place / Was 6)
   Though they have 2 matches left to go, the huge win the last time out gives them some breathing room that they need in the ultra-competitive Brooklyn/Queens district.
6. High Powered (339 / 12: DMV South: 1st Place / Was 7)
   None of you had High Powered as the highest team representing the Central Conference in the Top 50 at the end of May. And if you did, you’re lying to yourself.
7. Absolute Chaos (338 / 12: NJ South: 1st Place / Was 8)
   3rd place is still only 14 points behind them, but with their win streak up to 9 and a playoff spot being clinched, some congratulations are in order. Very nice season for them – and they only have one tour stop left to hold onto first.
8. Dirty South Legendz (326/ 12: Deep South: 1st Place / Was 9)
   Congratulations to DSL for winning the Deep South. If they make the same lineup choices that they did during the regular season, then this could be a very dangerous dark horse when the playoffs roll around in July.
9. New World Order (322 / 11: Triad 1st Place: Was 10)
   Randy McWilliams’ squad has a shot of going back to back, Jack. This district in the Southeast has the greatest amount of pitfalls, and they can scarce afford a loss now as we roll into June…
10. Da Garden Foundation (342 / 12: NJNW 1st Place: Was 12)
    Last time, they lost to Murder Inc. 24-16. This time, they beat them 34-6, which takes care of the New Jersey Northwest. DGF is always a team to be reckoned with, but this variety seems like they are hungrier and more dangerous. That could spell trouble for some of the other teams who may be unfortunate enough to be locked in with them.
11. Spartanberg Savages (290 / 12: Palmetto 1st Place: Was 11)
    With one match to go, the top 4 teams are separated by 6 points. They are currently tied for first with…
12. Carolina Rampage (290 / 12: Palmetto 1st Place: NEW)
    …the Rampage, who woke up this week. With the teams that tight, there’s a good chance that the loser of the 2 teams tied at this point will be out of the playoffs. To quote Mr. Freeze in Batman, that’s Wild, Baby. Wild.
13. Bulletproof (332/ 12: NJ South 2nd place: Was 13)
    Only 6 points behind Absolute Chaos with one match left to go. Who’s going to take the NJ South District title?
14. Reaper Crew (331 / 12: NJ Shore 1st place / Was 14)
    They don’t have a lot to do to take care of the NJ Shore. What helps them is that they are against Train Wreck, which is not Powerhouse, who defeated them 2 matches ago.
15. Str8 Bizness Cartel (314 / 12: DMV South: 2nd Place / Was 15)
    We are closing in on a classic match-up – a team full of veteran experience against the upstarts who want to hold on to the DMV South. We shall see who will prevail in early June.
16. Impact (351 / 12: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 3)
    Their undefeated season is gone, thanks to the Hot Pockets. Impact did clinch a playoff spot in the loss, but if they take a major loss in their last tour stop, then their DMV Central spot, which they have held on to the whole entire season, will be gone as well.
17. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (325 / 11: Queen City 1st Place: Was 17)
    It’s still a two team race between them and G-Town, but they made their lives a lot easier with the 36 point win the last time out. One more win will lock up a playoff spot.
18. Striking Vipers (313 / 12: Inner Coastal 1st place: Was 19)
    Like D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F., the Vipers needed that win in a huge, huge way. Unlike them, however, they can’t afford to lose their last match, where a win gets them the title and a loss could knock them out of the playoff hunt.
19. City Morgue (333 / 12: Metro 1st place: Was 20)
    That sort of big win by the Morgue (which gets them a playoff spot in the process) usually should have them jumping up a lot more spots than one – but everyone else has been winning also, so they only move up one spot. I’m sure I’ll be getting emails saying I don’t respect them. I’m used to that by now.
20. Outkasts (343 / 12: Capital 2nd Place / Was 21)
    Just to put this in perspective – there’s only four districts where they would not either have a share of or be in first place outright. Unfortunately, they happen to be in one of those four districts – and the only district where they can’t mathematically take first place. Hi, Hitmen.
21. Lane Crashers (274 / 10: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd Place / Was 22)
    The are in the same situation as JustUs League – though with a 7 match win streak and 22 points less than the aforementioned team. An extension to an 8 win streak shall get them into the playoffs.
22. NWO Wolfpack (342 / 12: DMV North 1st Place: Was 23)
    Someone’s going to drop the proverbial leg on Randy Savage. Ooooh Yeaaaahhhh
23. Outrage (321 / 12: DMV North 2nd Place: Was 24)
    They should have been Outraged a few tour stops ago. That being said, they, like the Wolfpack, have clinched a playoff spot. If they want to send a message that last season’s early ouster was a fluke, they need to send it to the Wolfpack.
24. High Voltage (308 / 12: Virginia: 1st Place / Was 16)
    They had a chance to make life a lot easier for themselves and didn’t, thanks to Fearless’ 24-16 win. Sure, they are in the playoffs, but a loss probably has their season end in third instead of the first place that they are currently in.
25. G-Town Heavy Hitters (308 / 11: Queen City / 2nd Place NEW)
    THERE’S our Defending World Champs. I was wondering when they would show up. Welcome back.
26. The Tribe (305 / 12: Metro 2nd Place: Was 27)
    This is not a great spot for the Tribe to be in (though they will be in the playoffs). They need to win many points to take first, but because Controlled Chaos is 2 points behind them, if they don’t take all of the points, they could wind up in third. Scylla, meet Charybdis (If you don’t know the reference, crack open the books. I just dropped some Greek Mythos).
27. Smurf Nation (324 / 12: NJ South 3rd Place Was 28)
    The win gets the Smurfs into the playoffs. One more win should make them finish no worse than second. They can’t finish worse than third, so this is all gravy from here on out.
28. Hot Pockets (333 / 12: DMV Central: 2nd: Was 29)
    They have already had a great season. Should they upset Impact and take the DMV Central, this would prove that their calling is here and now.
29. Alamo Omens (280 / 11: Texas 1st Place Was 30)
    They get one more week of love – or at least until Stay Ready plays their next match. This spot is reserved for Stay Ready once they play.
30. G.O.A.T. (296 / 11: Triad 2nd Place Was 31)
    With everything at stake and with how tight the Triad District is, G.O.A.T. can not afford to have a bad match. Their ‘A’ lineup needs to be there, regardless of who they are playing.
31. South Jersey Strike Force (304 / 12: PA North / 1st Place / Was 18)
    Sure they are still in first, but they could have locked it up against All In! and did not. They should still take first, based on the points that they are up (16), but they just made this final match a lot more interesting than they probably wanted to make it.
32. DC Mafia (308 / 12): DMV South 3rd Place: Was 32)
    Technically, they can still win the DMV South. However, they now need help – help they would not have needed if they were still in second place. Sort of like watching your opponent hit the last Daily Double to put you into second going into Final Jeopardy.
33. Beast Squad (300 / 12: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 34)
    They need 5 points to end High Octane’s reign of terror in the Sandhills. Should they lay a giant egg in their next tour stop, they shouldn’t blame the loss on that – they should blame it on tour stops 9-11, where they could have ended this race and didn’t.
34. Secret Society (308 / 12: PA South: 2nd Was 36)
    This is dangerous. They are the only team that can catch Rival Alliance, so a big win will give them the PA South. However, they are 25 points away from the team that can knock them out of the playoffs, so a big loss ends their season. Yipes.
35. All In! (264 / 11: PA North 2nd Place: Was 39)
    Sure, it’s a small win, but they absolutely needed it for any shot at the PA North. It’s still a longshot, but Jonathan Dansbury DID win Lodi’s King of the Hill, so anything’s possible, right?
36. Royal Flush (307 / 11: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 40)
    Another small win, but it’s a win, so you take it. Any win that you get that adds space between you and the teams chasing you is a great win. They need it to do that two more times to win the Long Island district.
37. Controlled Chao$ (303/ 12: Metro 3rd Place Was 44)
    The last win gives them a Playoff spot, which is well done for a good team who may finally be peaking at the time they need to be peaking at.
38. Augusta Reign (288 / 12: Palmetto 3rd Place Was 25)
    When a Tour Stop separates 1st from 7th, the LAST thing you want to do is to take 12 points in the pentultimate tour stop to put you right on the bubble should you lose. Well, there’s 11 worse situations, but you get the point.
39. The Arsenal (284/ 11: NJNE 1st Place: Was 33)
    A few coIumns ago, I jokingly called them The Great Sloppinis because they were getting sloppy…and they still are sloppy as they go 29-51 for their past 2 tour stops. This is a team that should have wrapped up the NJNE AGES ago and should be A LOT HIGHER than 39th on the Top 50. But as we all know, I don’t rank based on potential – I rank based on what’s going on currently. And currently, they are indeed the Great Sloppinis.
40. House Shot Heros (310 / 12: New England North 2nd Place: Was 46)
    Waiting for Mill City Mayhem. Whooooaaaa. (Sing it in the key and voice of Jennifer Lopez)
41. Synergy (305 / 12: Inner Coastal 3rd Place: Was 47)
    The win puts them up by almost 20 over the Watchmen on the final playoff spot. They could finish anywhere from first (via a beatdown over the Watchmen) to fifth (should the Watchmen administer a beatdown over them and Motion 2 Strike follows through).
42. Beach Brawlers (305 / 12: Inner Coastal 2nd Place: was 35)
    If you notice the numbers in the parenthesis between the Brawlers and Synergy, you can see that the Brawlers are in the exact same situation as Synergy is. The Inner Coastal promises to be nutso in their last tour stop.
43. Magna Carta (304 / 12: DMV Central 3rd Place: NEW)
    Magna Carta not only comes back into the Top 50, they come back with a clinched playoff spot in tow. They look sharp going into the Playoffs.
44. The Risen (302 / 12: Virginia 3rd Place: Was 37)
    Last time around, teams got ties but they moved up when everyone else was losing around them. This time, The Risen got a tie when everyone else around them was winning, so they drop a few slots. So sad.
45. BC Crew (278 / 11: Long Island / 3rd Place: Was 38)
    They have now lost 3 out of their last 4 and are looking lethargic doing it. They should make the playoffs but are not guaranteed to do so – and if they want to lose a few more times, they won’t have to worry about the playoffs.
46. Murder Inc. (272 / 12: NWNJ 2nd Place: Was 41)
    Getting blown out 34-6 by DGF may be a wakeup call that if they can’t get out of bed, there may be teams – like X-It Woundz, who they happen to play next – that would love to send them out of the playoffs and wish them nite nite.
47. Framed 4 Murda (303 / 12: DMV South 3rd Place: Was 42)
    They have been framed as top 4 DMV South team. A combination of a loss to DC Mafia and a win from Dynasty will exonerate them from that accusation.
48. Fearless (307 / 12: Virginia 2nd Place: Was 43)
    High Voltage gave them something to fear. How scary can High Voltage be? Boo! Aaaaahhhh!
49. Train Wreck (298 / 12: NJ Shore / 2nd Place Was 30)
    Yeah, they’re in second and yeah, they clinched a playoff spot, but they are down here because they have only won 2 out of their last 5 tour stops. This goes to show teams that beating the tar out of your opponents early on in the season will help pay dividends later on in the season.
50. The Fallout (310 / 11: NE South: 2nd Place / NEW)
    It sort of would be shameful to only have one team from the NE South here, but that’s usually because the NE South teams flame out in the playoffs. I challenge The Fallout, who are THIS close to claiming a playoff spot, to prove me wrong. Please.

NEXT 5 IN: Class aXe, Release the Kraken, The Watchmen, Spartanburg Savages, Conspiracy Theory

OUT: Disorderly Conduct, Rival Alliance, Capital City Hitters