Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 11/19/23-12/31/23

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. In the words of Andre Welbon – many teams here will not be here in August. So just enjoy it. While you can.
7. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with this week’s rankings….

CURRENT PLAY NOTES: This is after Tour Stop #4 (for most teams).

1. Disorderly Conduct (168 / 5: Triad 1st Place: Was 5)
   DC has been destroying everybody – their low count was 30 points – so they get to finish 2023 on a high note. Their resolution will be to hold on to the top spot.
2. Hitmen (176 / 5: Capital 1st place: Was 7)
   Speaking of teams destroying other teams, the Hitmen take 38 on the last tour stop as they wreck Beast Squad. The only reason why they didn’t take first is because they have one match under 30 and DC has none. That’s how tight it is right now.
3. New England Heat (146/ 4: NE South 1st Place Was 17)
   The scary thing here is that the Heat have already taken their bye and have 146 points after 4 tour stops for them. If they keep pulverizing teams at this rate, are we looking at a new UBA point record?
4. Impact (150 / 5: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 6)
   The killer instinct they had issues with last season sems to have dissipated this season. Maybe they didn’t like the gifts they got during Christmas?
5. Smurf Nation (130 / 4: NJ South 1st Place Was 22)
   Joe Heim didn’t win the Heavyweight Title, but the Smurfs are averaging 32.5 points per win. Yipes.
6. Bulletproof (120 / 4: NJ South 2nd place: Was 2)
   Ok so Bulletproof is still undefeated and they were in second place last time out on the Top 50. However, I can’t, in good faith, put a team in the #1 spot of the Top 50 that are not in first place in their own district. This is sort of like Outrage Vs. Impact a few years ago when they were both hogging the top spot for a bit. Will we see this again between them and the Smurfs?
7. M.O.P. Nation Militia (200 / 7: New England North 1st Place: Was 3)
   Yes they did take a 40 piece, but it was from the last placed team, so that’s not overly impressive. First place is though, so they remain in the top 5. Too many teams did better things to reward them. Bah Humbug,
8. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (168 / 5: Queen City 1st Place: Was 10)
   One of the things the Top 10 teams have in common is that they are not only winning – they are dominating teams. A 36 point win from DILLIGAF continues the trend.
9. Framed 4 Murda (164 / 5: DMV South 1st Place: Was 12)
   I’m pretty sure that no one had ‘F4M in the Top Ten to end 2023’ on their bingo card this year.
10. Release the Kraken (144 / 5: Long Island 2nd Place: Was 14)
    The Kraken are having a really nice start to their season as an up and comer. That all being said, they will eventually have to face a team that’s in a playoff spot. Let’s see what happens then.
11. Powerhouse (156 / 5: NJ Shore 1st Place Was 19)
    Still undefeated through 5 tour stops. Is this the year that they get it together and not crap out near the end of the season?
12. G-Town Heavy Hitters (128 / 5: Queen City: 2nd Place: Was 13)
    The ship has been righted as they move back into second place. The next few matches will be key as to if they can get the top spot back.
13. Da Garden Foundation (136 / 5: NJNW 2nd Place: Was 32)
    Welcome back to first place. Miss it? It missed you, though probably not as much as you missed it.
14. Murder Inc. (126 / 5: NWNJ 1st Place: Was 16)
    Nice bounce-back from last time out, as they reclaim a playoff spot. Can they overtake DGF?
15. City Morgue (141 / 5: Metro 1st place: Was 18)
    Back to first place they go. Can they stay there? They are only up by a meager point.
16. Outrage (150 / 5: DMV North 1st Place: Was 1)
    Whoops. They are still in first, but taking 8 points and letting the Wolfpack get within 6 points of you is not a good way to make a New Year’s Resolution.
17. The Arsenal (147/ 5: NJNE 1st Place: Was 22)
    Not the most impressive win in the world, but a quality win against a quality opponent will put the Arsenal within the range of the Top Ten again.
18. NWO Wolfpack (144 / 5: DMV North 2nd Place: Was 25)
    This is another team with all the talent in the world that I’ve been waiting to see them make that push to perennial powerhouse. That should be their resolution for 2024 – but can they knock out Outrage to do it?
19. Synergy (146 / 5: Inner Coastal 1st Place: Was 4)
    Still in first place, but they fell asleep on their last tour stop and only took 6 points. I blame that stuff in the Christmas Turkey that makes you sleepy right after you’re done eating as they take their first L of the season.
20. High Voltage (134 / 5: Virginia 1st Place: Was 27)
    After a shaky start, they are in first place, which to be honest, is where they should be at this point of the season. Can they continue this into 2024?
21. Beach Brawlers (138 / 5: Inner Coastal 2nd Place: was 30)
    The 34 point win was exactly what they wanted for X-Mas. They close to within 6 of Synergy and a possible repeat effort.Thank you, Santa. Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
22. Beast Squad (120 / 5: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 8)
    I believe the Beast Squad would like to take that 2 point gift from Kevin Decker care of the Hitmen and send it back to ACME to return it. Sort of like moldy fruitcake. Yuck.
23. BC Crew (148 / 5: Long Island / 1st Place: Was 46)
    Going 68-12 for the past 2 tour stops enables the ‘Crew to retake first place in the Long Island District. Their present may spell trouble to everyone else that has to play them in 2024.
24. G.O.A.T. (126 / 5: Triad / 3rd Place: Was 33)
    I’m guessing the Christmas feast was a lot tastier than their 2 point Thanksgiving mess of a family gathering.
25. Long Island Legendz (132 / 5: Long Island 3rd Place: Was 13)
    The present went up against the past, and the past won. Big Time. If this was a Christmas Carol, the Legendz will need some therapy from Bob Marley.
26. Usual Suspects (132 / 5: PA South 1st Place: Was 34)
    I had the Top three teams in the PA South lined up against each other Out of that clump, this is the only team that won, which spells problems for the other two teams that won’t be joining them in the clump.
27. South Jersey Strike Force (128 / 5: PA North / 1st Place / NEW)
    I am frequently asked by SJSF what it would take to be placed in the Top 50. First place and knocking out the team that used to be in first to do it would be a big start to it, as SJSF makes their debut on the chart. Welcome to the Top 50.
28. Da Hit Squad (148 / 5: Brooklyn / Queens 1st Place Was 11)
    Still in first, but their 2 point lead over the Justus League is smaller than a sliver of pumpkin pie.
29. Outkasts (142 / 5: Capital 2nd Place / Was 37)
    Lost in the shadows of the Hitmen’s 38-2 demolition is that the Outkasts also went 30+ and has moved into second place in the Capital District. They still have some work to do but the path to greatness is at least within distance,
30. Dead Flush (118 / 5): NJNW 3rd Place: Was 15)
    Just a reminder that you have to be ready to play in every match in the NWNJ. I don’t know what Dead Flush was playing, but it looked like they were playing checkers on a chess board.
31. Critical Roll (136 / 5: Deep South 1st Place Was 39)
    The fact that they won and improved their lead to 24 points in the Deep South – and then looking at the fact that only 3 teams are over .500 in the Deep South – makes me wonder how strong of a group the Deep South actually is. Not that Critical Roll will care if they take the first placed check to the bank.
32. High Octane (116 / 4: Sandhills 2nd Place: Was 20)
    I don’t remember the last time High Octane has a 2 Tour Stop losing skid (16-44 for their past 2 matches). I also don’t remember the last time High Octane wasn’t in the Top 50, but that could happen with a third straight loss.
33. Augusta Reign (130 / 5: Palmetto 1st Place Was 40)
    Return of the Reign onto first place is nice. But as the difference between the top 5 spots is 12 points, they can’t afford to keep doing the win one lose one dance too often.
34. Identity Crisis (184 / 7: New England North 3rd Place: Was 41)
    Though not as flashy as what MOP has been doing, it’s still impressive – and it puts them within range when the House Shot Heros have to take their bye.
35. Apex Predators (114 / 5: DMV North 3rd Place: Was 42)
    While Sagirah Wheeler holds on to the Northeast Vixens Belt, she keeps getting in the lineup. While she is in the lineup, the team keeps winning. This is not exactly – or should be pertained to – coincidence.
36. Messenger Mafia (129 / 4: NJNE 4th Place: Was 43)
    Sure the 34 points was against the bye – but 34 points is 34 points – and there’s a guarantee that not everyone will be successful against the bye. They are in second place, and if the playoffs started tomorrow, they are playing.
37. JustUs League (146 / 4: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd Place / Was 45)
    As DHS was brought down to Earth, the BQ is as tight as usual. Justus is right in that mix in an underrated district.
38. International Flavors (106 / 5: NJNE 4th Place: Was 24)
    Its’ one thing to lose to Arsenal. It’s another to get shelled by a team that was left for dead and now has a second chance at life – now 3 points behind the IF. Not a good tour stop for them.
39. Royalty On Da Lanes (140 / 5: Metro North 2nd Place Was 47)
    130-30 since the opening night blip.
40. Fearless (121 / 5: Virginia 3rd Place: Was 26)
    The drop from first to third should be something to be fearful of.
41. Conspiracy Theory (128 / 5: Triad 2nd place / Was 48)
    The good news – to be up this high in this district is impressive. The bad news – being 40 points behind Disorderly Conduct in the biggest point differential in any district in the UBA isn’t.
42. DC Mafia (128 / 5): DMV South 2nd Place: Was 29)
    They lost, but they stayed in 4th, so….yay?
43. Reaper Crew (145 / 5: NJ Shore 2nd place / Was 50)
    Blah blah blah they won blah blah blah they move to second blah blah blah they ran from the NJNW so they will never get any respect until they beat someone from the NJNW in the playoffs blah blah blah blah.
44. Goon Squad (138 / 5: NJ Shore 3rd place / Was 49)
    They are in third, which is better than most of the UBA teams can say, so they should be rewarded for it. Now can they put some respect on that name?
45. All In! (120 / 5: PA North 3rd Place: Was 31)
    22-38 for the past 2 Tour Stops means that this team is closer to All Out than All In!
46. Rival Alliance (116 / 5: PA South 2nd Place Was 35)
    All they want for Christmas is their two front teeth – which got kicked in and abducted by the tooth fairy after their last loss.
47. Apocalypse (122 / 5: Metro 3rd Place: Was 38)
    Each horseman of the Apocalypse would be a representative of each point they took during their last tour stop (HINT: 4)
48. Dynasty (128 / 5: DMV South 2nd Place: NEW)
    Another blast from the past who’s returning to the charts. How successful will they be this time around?
49. Secret Society (114 / 5: PA South 3rd Place: Was 36)
    Let’s keep the 10 points they won during their last tour stop a secret.
50. Striking Vipers (138 / 5: Inner Coastal 3rd place: NEW)
    You think you’re out, then they pull you back in. Now ;et’s see this time if they want to stay in.

NEXT 6 IN: Capital City Hitters, Demolition Crew, Train Wreck, Voodoo, Lightz Out, The Fallout

OUT: Str8 Bizness Cartel, The Militia, The Risen,