Top 50 Motivational Rankings – 7/15/23-8/9/23

Welcome to the Top 50! This is the part where you’re really happy, or – and this is the usual response – you wish to get motivated. Just a reminder – three of the 4 semi-finalists had the #1 at some point of the year (and the other one got to #5) so I sort of know what I’m talking about. Sometimes. But please have fun. And as for my prerequisites…

1. Style points count.
2. Keep in mind that with over 200 teams competing (with an increase of teams) this season, this list represents less than the top 25% of the UBA. If you’re on here, consider that some kudos.
3. If you’re not in the Top 4 in your district, you’re not here. That means we’re getting a lot of movement early.
4. This is for fun. Don’t get salty, get motivated.
5. Yes, I know there’s districts with byes. And yes, if it’s a close race, sometimes teams will fall out due to said byes. I learned my lesson last year when teams with byes complained about that. When I decided to be nice and rewarded teams with extra spots, said teams didn’t make the playoffs because they didn’t get the points needed when the teams over them had byes and I looked like more of a moron than usual. This season, if you try to use that argument, I will just mention that Nice is a city in France and send you on your way. Deal with it.
6. I love all feedback, so keep it coming 🙂

So here we go with this week’s rankings….

CURRENT PLAY NOTES: Post Season Weekends #2 and #3

1. Outrage (394 / 13: DMV North 1st Place: Was 1)
   Welcome back to the Elite 8. We know what usually happens when you get here. Can they make it happen again?
2. Str8 Bizness Cartel (387 / 13: DMV South 1st Place: Was 4)
   The first time we’ve seen #1 and #2 in the All-American Conference since Impact and Outrage. This time, the stakes are going to be a lot higher if they meet up again this weekend.
3. Murder Inc. (341 / 13: NWNJ 1st Place: Was 6)
   You all know Murder Inc. Vs. Outrage is the match you want to see in the semi-finals.
4. Complete Anarchy (336 / 13: Deep South 1st Place: Was 7)
   The Deep South may be a LOT better than anyone gave them credit for. Can Ray Gillespie’s squad do this season what Kevin Decker’s squad last season didn’t do?
5. G-Town Heavy Hitters (359 / 13: Queen City: 1st Place: Was 12)
   You can make an argument from June to now that they are the hottest team in the UBA. I would not have much of an argument there.
6. X-It Woundz (305 / 13: NJNW 2nd Place: Was 13)
   They feel way too low being a 7 seed. If they shock SBC, it would not shock me.
7. Royal Flush (332 / 13: Long Island 2nd Place: Was 25)
   They looked really bad when they were limping into the playoffs. They are looking much better now. Michael Martell sighting?
8. City Morgue (298 / 13: Metro 5th place: Was 32)
   As the only team to not finish in the Top 4 of their district and still make the Elite 8, I salute them. If you think I’m changing the respect narrative now, you’re crazy. If they win Battle Bowl, they would have scored 3 monster upsets. That being said, they do have that capability of doing so.
9. Class aXe (358 / 12: Metro 1st Place: Was 2)
   Regardless of if an elephant was put into the hole of a bowling ball, one bowler didn’t beat you – unless you are referring to the people on your own squad who fell apart. Mental game must be better next season if you want to take the next step.
10. Beach Brawlers (364 / 13: Inner Coastal 1st Place: was 3)
    Great first season for Brian Lipp’s Squad.
11. New World Order (384 / 13: Triad 2nd place: Was 5)
    Excellent year for them also, but didn’t get over the hump in heart-breaking fashion. Semi-new World Order?
12. Bulletproof (348 / 12: NJ South: Was 8)
    I sort of remembering writing last time out about warning them to not overlook International Flavors. Oops.
13. M.O.P. Nation Militia (314 / 13: New England North 2nd Place: Was 9)
    Their scratch arsenal, which was so useful last season, availed them this season.
14. Da Garden Foundation (302 / 13: NJNW 3rd Place: Was 10)
    Classic match-up resulted in them losing a spot at Battle Bowl by less than 10 pins.
15. Synergy (351 / 13: Sandhills 3rd Place: Was 11)
    Had all of that energy expended during weekend #1 and couldn’t maintain it during weekend #2.
16. Bowlerama Express (353 / 13: NE South 1st Place: Was 14)
    This was a golden opportunity squandered. This may be looked at with a vengeance next season.
17. Usual Suspects (362 / 13: PA South 2nd Place: Was 15)
    Getting past X-It Woundz was too big of a task. Then again, that’s the case for most of the teams in the UBA.
18. Menace II Society (355 / 13: Queen City 2nd Place: Was 16)
    If Nick Christy wins the World Heavyweight Chanpionship, that would be enough for MIIS to move up the charts.
19. Magna Carta (330 /13: DMV South 2nd Place: Was 17)
    Last time out, I said that they would either have fun or run into problems. Answer: Problems.
20. Secret Invasion (338 / 13: Metro 2nd Place: Was 18)
    They had a good season but they should be better next season. Whether that make that a secret or not is up to them.
21. Hot Pockets (318 / 13: DMV Central 2nd Place: Was 19)
    They changed their name from Hot Pockets to Devoured. Yum yum.
22. Nation of Domination (344 / 13: NJ South 3rd Place Was 20)
    NOD is either amazing or terrible. Based on the fact that they are in 22nd and not in the Top 8, I think you know what version of NOD we got against DGF.
23. International Flavors (327 / 13: NJNE 2nd Place: Was 21)
    For a team that resurrected themselves this season and got within a few marks of the Elite 8, they had a very nice year.
24. Impact (330 / 13: DMV Central 1st Place: Was 22)
    I sort of predicted an early exit for them in the Playoffs. Will this hangover help them next season?
25. Lane Crashers (328 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens 2nd place: Was 23)
    I’m not going to use the they crashed pun…until I just did. Chondite Faison is not the only one who can come up with bad dad jokes and puns.
26. DC Mafia (321 / 13): DMV South 4th Place: Was 24)
    Very nice year for Chuck Fusco’s mafioso. They have to figure out how to get past the big boys in September.
27. High Powered (322 / 13: DMV South 3rd Place: Was 26)
    They were low powered and were shown the exit because of it.
28. Killerz Grip (327 / 13: Long Island 3rd place: Was 27): They had their opportunities and a favorable draw, but they couldn’t take advantage of it.
29. Apex Predators (296 / 13: DMV North 2nd Place: Was 28)
    I loved the movie Prey. They got to experience it first-hand.
30. Immortals (324 / 13: Sandhills 4th Place: Was 29)
    If they were following the script from the movie Highlander, they got themselves decapitated.
31. High Caliber (321 / 13: Deep South 2nd Place: Was 30)
    Well, if it makes the people who griped at me because I put the Immortals over High Caliber last time out, at least they finished right next to each other at the end.
32. Hills Have Eyes (310 / 13: PA South 4th Place: NEW)
    The hills had eyes. They didn’t have enough balls. Bowling balls. Get your mind out of the gutter right now34
33. Secret Society (379 / 13: PA South 1st Place: Was 33)
    Season Ended last time out.
34. The Arsenal (366 / 13: NJNE 1st Place: Was 34)
    Season Ended last time out.
35. High Octane (380 / 13: Sandhills 1st Place: Was 35)
    Season Ended last time out.
36. Identity Crisis (342 / 12: New England North 1st Place: Was 36)
    Season Ended last time out.
37. Long Island Legends (364 / 13: Long Island 1st Place: Was 37)
    Season Ended last time out.
38. Team Matrix (342 / 12: NJ Shore 1st Place: Was 38)
    Season Ended last time out.
39. Hitmen (364 / 13: Capital 1st place: Was 39)
    Season Ended last time out.
40. All In! (320 / 13: PA North 1st Place: Was 40)
    Season Ended last time out.
41. Carolina Swag (354 / 13: Triad 2nd place: Was 41)
    Season Ended last time out.
42. D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. (346 / 13: Queen City 2nd Place: was 42)
    Season Ended last time out.
43. High Voltage (310 / 13: Capital 3rd Place: Was 43)
    Season Ended last time out.
44. Beast Squad (361 / 13: Sandhills 2nd Place: Was 44)
    Season Ended last time out.
45. Conspiracy Theory (322 / 13: Triad 3rd Place: Was 45)
    Despite the loss, they still had a really nice season.
46. Toms River Rats (339 / 13: NJ Shore 2nd Place: Was 46)
    Season Ended last time out.
47. Total Chaos (337 / 13: Inner Coastal 2nd Place: Was 47)
    Season Ended last time out.
48. Wrecking Crew (330 / 13: Brooklyn/Queens: 1st Place: Was 48)
    Season Ended last time out.
49. Outkasts (319 / 13: Capital 2nd Place / Was 49)
    Season Ended last time out.
50. Total Mayhem (301 / 13: NJNE 3rd Place / Was 50)
    Season Ended last time out.